In our culture, it is very familiar to read, hear, and deeply understand from our own experience what it is like to seek confidence, exude confidence, and feel confident or ‘a lack thereof’ which is usually labelled as insecure. Confidence is something to be desired and attained, and insecurity is to be overcome.
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Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Wholeness, authenticity | Tagged confidence, Insecurity, Making a Difference, Self-realization | Leave a Comment »
As givers, we know very well what it’s like to give the gift of time. It is time that we give to others in a myriad of ways that express our own strengths and are reflective of our true nature.
Take a moment to reflect on how you give your time to others – to your loved ones, at work, in your community. This is your spiritual practice. This is how you embody love.
For the sake of claiming your life, ask yourself: am I giving in ways that feel right to me? Am I in integrity around what I give or am I simply following a rule that is a habit or is a result of old conditioning? In other words, am I giving from a place of ’should’ or from a place of peace and lightness? When we take the time to notice, when we are very much in the spaciousness of the present moment, we get really clear about this.
Joseph Campbell’s often quoted advice, “Follow your bliss” speaks to this reflection. In my view, he is not talking about doing just what feels good. He is talking about checking in with that deeper part of ourselves and following that feeling of spaciousness and peace wherever it leads us, moment by moment, as our lives unfold.
Also, I invite you to reflect upon another important aspect of the gift of time: Do I include myself in the giving? Do I give myself the gift of time? If not, how can I make this happen?
Affirmations:
I notice the freedom that I experience when I give from my true nature. I include myself in this. Sometimes my gifts are accepted, and sometimes they are not. What is important is my relationship to the giving.
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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence.When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, authenticity, inner peace | Tagged inner confidence, Making a Difference, Relationship with Self, relationships, service | Leave a Comment »
I define an edge as a step that is calling you that’s scary to take. In other words, doing ‘whatever it is’ would be a real stretch for you. Jumping over that edge would be moving past old conditioning and habits into new territory.
For instance, an edge might be leaving an intimate relationship that hasn’t worked for a long time, and you deeply know it would be best to move on. It might be leaving a career that isn’t enjoyable to you or reflective of your real strengths. It might be taking up something new like painting or public speaking. Or an edge might be allowing yourself to fully open your heart to a new partner after being hurt many times before.
Stop for a moment and reflect. What is your edge right now? What are you not doing because of old conditioning and habits? What would be a real jump for you that is scary AND exciting to even consider?
Give yourself permission to stand up and imagine yourself stepping over that edge. Now feel what it’s like on the other side where you actually are ‘over the edge’ and in new territory. What do you notice at a body level? Any images, any metaphor, any thoughts, any body sensations? Simply notice whatever comes up.
Sit with what you have discovered about yourself. Be in the silence. And see what unfolds.
Affirmations:
Life unfolds in surprising and unexpected ways. I am afraid. I trust that I am safe. I feel both points of view. When I release the emotional charge of both ends of the spectrum – when either view has no ‘oomph’ – I am free to respond to what my life is asking of me.
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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence.When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Well-being, Wholeness, inner confidence, transition | Tagged inner confidence, Relationship with Self, transitions | Leave a Comment »
All of us know what it’s like to want and even expect to get something from someone else, especially in our intimate relationships. It may be more attention, love, appreciation, acceptance, understanding – the list goes on.
In some way, we want that other person to give us what we didn’t get when we were kids. We’re looking at someone else to fill the gap. And at a deep level, we just want to be unconditionally loved and accepted.
This pattern of wanting and/or expecting to get from someone else leads to control and manipulation – and messy relationships. In trying to get something from someone else or just expecting that they owe us this, we give our power away. We feel angry and frustrated. We get disappointed. We can get demanding and volatile. And the controlling behaviours that coincide with our wants and expectations show up in as many ways as there are relationships between people.
The reality is that when the personality interacts with another, we can face a different set of values. All personalities have a different style of connecting or communicating. There is judgment. There are different perceptions. There are emotionally triggers that ignite us to react. We either hold back or fight back. As human personalities, it’s very difficult to be unconditionally loving and accepting of each other on all fronts.
Claiming our lives as our own happens when we truly get that no one can truly take care of us other than us. It is our job to stay connected to our true nature from which inner confidence arises. And in that connection to the spaciousness/stillness/peace/infinity that lives inside of us, love is always present. We are full. We stop seeking for more. We feel free to be ourselves and allow others to be themselves.
Affirmations:
I accept the responsibility of taking care of myself. I realize that this is my job alone. I am aware of the thoughts and judgments that arise when I want to pass the torch to someone else. It’s a cue for me to connect ever more deeply with my true nature. I take that leap.
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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, awakening, interdependence | 2 Comments »
I had the privilege this week of listening to Kofi Annan, the one-time Secretary-General of the United Nations (1997-2006) address a group of 6000 students at the University of Buffalo. As a backdrop, it might be helpful to know that this university has one of the highest percentages of international students in the United States. – at least 4000 of the university’s student body. The UB students gathered in this jam-packed auditorium, many from all over the world, having resoundingly requested Kofi Annan to open their Speakers Series.
What I experienced as I listened to Kofi Annan speak in his gentle, quiet manner is that he embodied peace. It was a privilege to be in his presence as I noticed myself and those around me drop deeper into our natural state. The impact of the atmosphere of spaciousness that he created was a room filled with silence, deep listening, and respect. What he had to say was powerful – and my experience was that his very ‘being’ as he shared his insights was what touched all of us who were there.
There was lots of engagement between Annan and the students through questions and answers, and he received a full-house standing ovation as he ended his time with us. His core message was one of tolerance.
What I know as a coach is that much of the suffering that occurs internally (in the mind) has to do with resistance – the attempt to ‘try’ to avoid painful feelings, to erase what we define as negative thoughts, to strive to have what we want or think we should have, to judge ourselves and our lives when we’re not getting what we think will bring us a sense of fulfillment. As we move through our resistance to what is and open ourselves to all of our experiences as human beings (not an easy task but one well worth the journey), the veil of intolerance is lifted that surrounds our hearts. That opening beyond resistance sets the stage for true tolerance – of ourselves, of others, of life. This inner work (our relationship to our personalities and to the Divine within) is a prerequisite for our ability to experience a deeper love, peace and toleration that includes this world.
Being a part of the audience, I had the sense that yes, we are collectively evolving. As a unified field, all is well. We were engaged in conversation about war, climate change, polarization, leadership – highly charged topics. And, yet, there was this sense of all of us being together as one – a unified field. Open. Awake.
It doesn’t mean that we don’t take action. When we’re awake to truth, the actions come from this place of openness and willingness rather than a fear-based urgency. One step at a time. One person at a time. We take action flowing with the evolution of life.
Affirmations:
I embrace the darkness and the light. I feel fear, doubt and insecurity. I feel happy and confident. Throughout it all, I know who I truly am. I practice the embodiment of peace for the sake of all of us.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie is deeply committed to sparking each heart to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely as your true self. She offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization and e-book entitled “Loving Yourself First” to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visitwww.innerconfidencecoaching.com
Posted in inner peace, leadership | Tagged awakening, leadership, love, peace | Leave a Comment »
There are days for all of us when we notice that we are almost obsessively trying to ‘get it’. This ‘getting’ can pertain to getting the job done, getting why something happened, getting a new concept, getting where we think we should be, getting our dream to happen, getting more….more…more…
You get the idea 
There can be so much to strive to ‘get’ if we choose this direction for our lives.
The key about this is that getting is all about striving. It’s about making something happen, fixing, understanding, seeking. That way of being in the world can be a lot of work. We can find ourselves pushing upstream in the river of life instead of flowing downstream. Getting/striving is a habit that in many ways is built into our culture.
Take a moment to reflect: What do you strive for? What drives you to ‘get’ something? What’s that about? Who in your past is like this? How much of this striving is simply part of your conditioning?
For instance, a client of mine realized that her drive to get the job done, no matter what, was learned from her father in a way that really didn’t work for her at this time in her life. She was simply acting from an unconscious place that became a habit a long time ago. With awareness, she realized that she could do it differently – working in a balanced way, asking for help, taking breaks, stopping to breathe – in other words, doing it in her own way, a way that felt right for her now.
When we claim our own lives, we walk a different path from those before us who are part of past conditioning. That path can be different in very subtle, yet powerful ways. On our path, we listen to our own heart. We get to know and connect with our true nature. We take the time to notice which thoughts we give our energy to and which thoughts aren’t worthy of our attention.
Affirmations:
Who I am is enough. What I have is enough. I take the time to connect with myself in this way. I am open to the support that will serve me to find my own path of aliveness.
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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Well-being, balance, inner peace | Tagged awakening, inner peace | Leave a Comment »
A client came to a coaching call filled with the pain of ‘one more thing’ that was not working. It had been a month of difficulties in relationships, work, and health – a very real time of challenge for him. Disappointment, confusion, and discouragement were present.
Like this person, during the painful times, we may hear ourselves think, “Why does this stuff keep happening to me? It’s not fair.” It can be the voice of the child within us from long ago who has been disappointed in some way. Or it may be the voice that has watched a life unfold differently than what had been dreamed about in much younger days.
Yes, we are responsible for our lives and, sometimes, circumstances happen in ways that we don’t intend or expect. And, we, too, know those feelings of disappointment, confusion, and discouragement. The jewel is to see what is gained from these experiences.
Moving through the resistance so all feelings could be welcomed, he was able to see that the art of love, compassion, and gifting was a direct result of life’s difficult times. Who would he be now without those experiences? What had he truly gained in order to truly contribute?
I bring this to you: what have you gained from your experiences? What is an art form in the arena of life that you’ve nurtured during those times of difficulty?
Affirmations:
I see the beauty and perfection in all of my experiences. I claim the artist within who reaches out to those around me with my gifts. And throughout it all, I know, beyond a doubt, that the Stillness that resides in the depths of the ocean far beneath the choppy waves is my true nature that I share with you.
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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Well-being, Wholeness, life, love, serenity | Tagged Challenges, feelings, life, serenity | Leave a Comment »
The mind can be brilliant – inventing, designing, creating, integrating, synthesizing, memorizing – all of this and more as it deals with the details of modern life. The paradox is that the mind can also be ‘crazy’. It feeds us stories and beliefs orginating from old conditioning and habits that are limiting and based on untruths. The mind can stop us from feeling joy – that inner state that is free from external circumstances and is always present when we touch deeply within.
Take a moment to listen to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe500eIK1oA called “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley. Part of the lyrics are: “I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place. Even your emotions had an echo In so much space. And when you’re out there without care, …”
Letting go of identifying with the mind and shifting our attention to our true nature brings us to another level of calmness, well-being, and inner peace.
Affirmations:
I open to the peace within me and spend time relishing in it on this lovely summer day.
Posted in Well-being, Wholeness, fulfillment, inner peace, spirit | Tagged life, serenity, spirit | 1 Comment »
Anger is a feeling that is or has been a challenge for most of us to accept and express in healthy ways. Collectively, there seems to be lots of messages that we receive about anger being ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ or ‘wrong’.
The reality is that we all know that acting out anger can cause problems in our relationships. The persecutor within us who feels victimized and wants to blame others can be the driving voice of anger. We’ve been the recipient of anger that has left us feeling bruised, either literally or metaphorically, and/or we’ve been the one who has expressed anger and noticed a relationship dissolve because of it.
Some people even say, ’I'm an angry person” or “you’re an angry person”, attaching anger to either their own or someone else’s identity. In other words, it’s like saying, “This is the box of anger that contains me. I see the world and everything in it through this box”.
We likely also know what it’s like to work hard to suppress anger. Afraid of the consequences. Trying to logically talk ourselves out of feeling anger – doing our best to push it away like a meddlesome relative. Turning away from looking underneath the surface of anger where either fear or hurt can live.
What is different when we give ourselves completely to feeling anger? What do we notice at a body level when we open our hearts to anger without resistance? Welcoming it like a lost child coming home…embracing it….entirely feeling the frequency, the vibration, the atmosphere of it? Trusting that it’s just a feeling that is passing through, separate from who we truly are?
Experiment. The next time anger visits you, focus on your heart. Place your hand there and breathe into and out from the heart. Give yourself permission to truly feel the anger, all of it. It sometimes helps to have a witness support and encourage you in this. Be with the anger completely and simply notice.
Affirmations:
I courageously meet the anger that comes to visit me, and I feel its true power. Hand on heart, I allow myself to feel the frequency of anger with openness and love. I listen for the message it gives me.
Please feel free to comment through this blog about the self-discovery that occurs.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Self-Acceptance, body, inner confidence, inner peace | Tagged feelings, peace, personal power, vitality, Well-being | Leave a Comment »
Over and over as I am working with a client, whether female or male, I see the value in supporting and encouraging a connection with her or his ‘inner’ child. It’s part of the journey toward self-responsibility – toward fully claiming our lives.
What do I mean by ‘inner child’? It’s the part of us who never really grows up. It’s where our playfulness,spontaneity, enthusiasm and creativity lie as well as our unresolved feelings from earlier times.
When we truly listen to the kid, the child within which I assert is closest to our spirit, we ‘get’ the impact of our experiences and touch that vulnerable, open and real self. We’re given the opportunity to be there for our wounds with love, acceptance and compassion.
Our ability to feel happiness grows in proportion to our willingness to recognize and allow the full range of feelings – particularly our pain. When we deeply listen to our sadness and hurts and disappointments, our inner core has the opportunity to feel loved and, therefore, content.
Try this experiment. Take a moment. Through your breath, enter a silent place within you. Imagine your child – whatever age that floats to the surface – be in front of you. What is s/he feeling? What does s/he want to communicate with you? Be in the silence and listen with trust to what emerges. What does s/he need from you?
Feed back to her or him what has been said and let that part know you are committed to being there. Notice the impact on your body. Appreciate this gateway to love and contentment.
Affirmations:
I open to deeply listening to myself. I am my own caretaker, and I do so with love and joy. I am happy and safe as I master the art of truly taking care of my inner child. As I open my heart to the needs of this inner part of me, I know that I am safe.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Well-being, Wholeness, change, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, transformation | Tagged change, love, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, self, transformation, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
Are you a person who has specific criteria that need to be in place before you allow yourself to feel happy? When you aren’t meeting the criteria that you’ve set, do you feel dissatisfied, resentful and filled with self-doubt?
You may already have experienced what you wanted in the past – a home that you loved, a solid career, a sense of feeling fit and sure of yourself because of what you achieved. And through life experiences like a divorce, the loss of a job and the natural changes that happen as you age, you are in a different position now.
You want those circumstances back. You try hard to make this happen by following the Law of Attraction principles that you read about in The Secret the best way you know how. And it’s so frustrating that it isn’t working for you.
As a coach, I’ve often witnessed this frustration which creates mental suffering. This suffering is based on the belief that real happiness comes from external circumstances. There is a belief that there are set ‘rules’ to follow and then everything that we want and desire will come. There can be a belief that there is someone out there, like God, who is doling out rewards and punishments according to how ‘good’ you are or how dedicated you are to your personal growth. When entrenched in these beliefs, we live expecting….feeling entitled…focussing on the future….trying hard to get it right so we get what we want…giving our power away.
There isn’t any of us who don’t identify with this thinking to some degree. We’re all products of our conditioning. We have grown up in a consumer society with right/wrong thinking and pressures to succeed. We’re human.
What’s the truth? What changes when we deeply understand that life includes suffering? What is different in our level of contentment when we get that our happiness comes from living in the present and feeling appreciation for all that comes our way? What lightens for us when we accept that adversity is an opportunity to learn? What supports us to grow and stop us from judging our circumstances and ourselves?
There is so much richness is being with what is and looking for what is right in our lives. Feeling a sense of contentment and inner peace is priceless. I am privileged to coach rich people as well as people who are working hard to pay all the bills. What I see from my vantage point is that outer circumstances like money mean nothing in terms of happiness. It’s all perception. Our internal reality decides if we are rich or poor.
Affirmations:
I trust that what I am experiencing is what I am supposed to be experiencing. I embrace and accept who I am and what I feel in this moment unconditionally. All is well. My life is unfolding as I incline my mind to love and appreciation and follow my heart day to day.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Well-being, Wholeness, change, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, transition | Tagged abundance, change, confidence, happiness, life, love, personal development, Relationship with Self, self, transformation | Leave a Comment »
Self-doubt rears its head within all of us. For different reasons. At different times in our lives. For some, it can be a habit – old conditioning which was learned when young. For others, self-doubt grew over time as a result of painful experiences.
Being at peace with our decisions feels good; feeling doubtful can be very uncomfortable and unsettling. Trying to avoid self-doubt or making ourselves wrong for feeling that way doesn’t really work.
What’s a loving way of being with ourselves when we’re feeling doubtful? For instance, it’s helpful to get curious and notice the patterns of doubt in our lives – how it shows up, when, what are the over-and-over themes, and what are the typical triggers and reactions. The more aware we are, the more we are able to tap into our Wise Observer – simply noticing what our mind is saying without trying to fix.
For me, doubt appears when I reach a degree of dissatisfaction. Somehow something isn’t working according to my expectations or wants. I start to question my choices – my inner authority. The ’should’ word comes up and then I’m on a roll, unless I stop and notice. Breathe. I then ask myself: What is the story that I’m telling myself? What do I really know? What is the Big Picture here?
Sometimes, I notice and allow myself to feel that dissatisfaction and get curious about where it shows up at a body level. Again, without a story attached to it. I may ask myself if there is a message here for me. I take the time to quiet my mind, get into my center, and listen.
Feeling self-doubt is part of being human. It can serve us – in knowing and accepting ourselves, in providing new opportunities to learn, and in deeply listening to our true wants and needs.
Affirmations:
When doubt comes to visit me, I welcome it. Without taking it personally, I get curious. I explore its message. I thank it for giving me the opportunity to learn about myself and to compassionately accept myself at ever deeper levels.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Well-being, Wholeness, coaching, inner confidence, life, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, transformation | Tagged confidence, inner peace, Relationship with Self, self-esteem, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
Like Caroline Myss who coined the term as far as I know, I believe that woundology can thwart our change process. What is woundology? It’s about having our wounds – our history as a child or any traumatic event or illness since – be such a focus in our lives that it becomes part of our identity. We talk about it to others, spend a lot of time trying to fix it, and create a social life around it by participating in groups with people who share a common wound.
To clarify, receiving support from people who have had similar experiences can be helpful as we can learn about ourselves, gain insights, develop new resources and tools, and receive compassion. Using a wound as a portal to learning and growing or as inspiration for giving to others are also healthy ways to integrate our past suffering. Woundology gains ground when the person’s story or wound continues to be their focus long after it’s helpful.
For instance, a client who had repeated to anyone who would listen that he was an alcoholic was challenged by me to let go of using that label. Yes, alcohol was toxic to him, and it was time for him to stop identifying himself in this way. He was someone who had not used alcohol or drugs for over twenty years. It was time for him to see himself as primarily someone who is creative, resourceful and whole instead of an old identity that focussed on his wound. The old label kept him in the past and took away his power when, in fact, he had integrated sobriety at every level. He was honest about himself, took responsibility for his life, and accepted and explored all of his feelings. He later reported that his decision to let go of the identity of ‘alcoholic’ had a major impact on how he saw himself, encouraging him to even more deeply claim his wholeness and well-being.
What I know is that when clients let go of a self-label, in other words, stop using the word “my” in front of any feeling, trauma or sickness, change happens. They are ready to live in a new perspective rather than through the eyes of their wound. A sense of confidence and wholeness grows.
Affirmations:
I see myself as creative, resourceful and whole. It is safe for me to release the old. I focus on my strengths, what is right in my life, and what I can create for myself and others.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Well-being, Wholeness, change, inner confidence, life, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, transformation | Tagged change, personal development, self, transformation, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
I love to write. For me, time passes very, very quickly as I focus in on what I want to express. Other than a main topic, I don’t plan ahead of time what I will write. I just sit and wait, letting my thoughts unfold. When I take the time to do what I love, like writing, I find that I connect with myself. I get in touch with my creative, intuitive side which is grounding for me.
What is it that you love to do? What’s different for you when you make the time to do what you love? What gets in the way?
For myself, these last few weeks I have not been as committed as I like to be to my writing. Instead I notice that I’ve been focussed on the roller coaster ride of the U.S. Presidential election – reading, watching and discussing while learning about the candidates, their impact, and myself. What’s important to me? Where is my own shadow in them? What is my philosophy, my values, my stand in life?
I see that many clients are bringing the election to their coaching calls – leaving behind some of what they love to do and taking the time to focus on the hope that this election calls forth. Clients are inspired by Obama’s leadership – whether they will vote for him or not; whether they’re American or not. His integrity, calmness, steadiness, stand for unity – the list goes on as strong and positive role models are rare. It’s compelling to watch someone express their natural gifts, invest time and energy in developing them, and then share them from a place of service. He exudes confidence. What a powerful and positive impact he is having on the world by being himself.
Sometimes it’s okay to leave behind what we love for a time. To follow our curiosity, our hearts, our values. To learn more about ourselves and our world. To return to our work with something new in our hearts.
Affirmations:
I open myself to inspiration. I trust that when I return to what is mine to express, another level of who I am will comes forward. I trust in goodness and Divine Love. I trust myself.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Wholeness, change, communication, inner confidence, life, love, personal growth, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, transition | Tagged obama+inspiration+self+personal growth+values+change | Leave a Comment »
As a naturally giving person, you likely really understand how good it feels to love. In fact, love and connection is likely one of your top values.
A feeling of disconnection (opposite to that loving, open-hearted place) can come from feelings of hurt, anger, frustration and/or resentment due to a relationship glitch. When we react to a dynamic or series of dynamics, we usually don’t feel connected to that person in our life at least for the time being. This can be a painful place – a place where we give away our power.
When we feel disconnected from someone else, we are in truth disconnected from our core where love resides. The challenge is to allow ourselves to feel the energetic feeling that comes our way without taking it personally. To keep our hearts open through it all is key. Embracing and feeling what’s there at a body level allows us to stay connected to ourselves. Even though our own behaviour and the behaviour of those around us may not appear loving, deeply knowing that all unloving behaviours are rooted in confusion helps us stay open and connected.
Affirmations:
I own my power – the power of love. I live and express love, particularly for myself, no matter what. I keep my heart open and free.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Relatonships, change, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, transformation, transition | Tagged confidence, inner confidence, love, owning your power, relationships, self-confidence | Leave a Comment »
When life gets chaotic and old behavioural patterns show up as a result, a dose of self-nourishment is particualrly essential. It is powerful to know what nourishes us so we can take responsibility for doing that on a daily basis. The powerful practice of self-nourishment helps us deal with the really stressful times at a responsive rather than a reactive level.
On that note, what nourishes you? My invitation is for you to pause, gently close your eyes and become aware of your breath. Ask yourself that powerful question again. Listen. The answer will emerge with an accompanying sensation in your body that feels relaxing and expansive. Your body knows.
For me, I am nourished by a walk in nature, an afternoon nap, the awareness of Love, the joy exuded by my beloved dogs, a loving touch, inspirational reading, the powerful energy of a sacred space, silence, ’simply being’ time, yoga and a healthy, delicious meal. I notice that an inner smile emerges as I write each of these, and I know there’s more. All are enjoyed in present time which makes all the difference.
Again, what nourishes you? What brings that smile to your inner being? Feel it in your body and celebrate knowing yourself in this very loving, compassionate way. What do you need to do to make room for more of ‘this’ in your life?
Affirmations:
I take the time for myself to do what brings me a sense of aliveness and joy. I am worthy.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Stress, Well-being, Wholeness, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, power, self, self-confidence, spirituality | Tagged Joy, life, love, Relationship with Self, self, soul, spirituality, Stress, transformation, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
As an inner confidence coach, I often hear clients voice frustration about their feelings of insecurity. The inner critic is angry that they’re even feeling insecure – that they can’t get rid of that old feeling which follows them places where they don’t want it to go.
I understand. I, too, know about insecurity. And what I’ve learned through my years of working with many, many people in the education and counselling fields is that it is natural and human to feel insecure. Everyone does – at times and usually in certain areas. Some people are just better at hiding it, even from themselves. It can be easier to deny or blame rather than deeply look inside, feel the pain of insecurity and learn about dealing with it.
There is no judgment in this. Not everyone’s journey is to place a conscious focus on personal growth. Everyone’s mind is busy – for some, their attention is on details, figuring out the how-to in completing a project, continual to-do lists or the media. For people who lead with their feelings and intuition, the inner chatter can often focus on self-judgment due to high expectations born from past conditioning and outdated beliefs.
How do you deal with insecurity?
- Know that it’s an energy that’s visiting you for a time. It isn’t who you truly are.
- Avoid using ‘my’ in front of security to support you in not taking it personally.
- Thank the insecurity for bringing to your attention another opportunity to embrace yourself with understanding and compassion. That in itself is healing.
- The vulnerable, ‘inner’ child that is within all of us needs to feel heard and loved.
- When the feeling comes, take the time to reflect on what story you’re telling yourself. Is it true? What is a belief that needs to be challenged?
Affirmations:
I am aware of my breath and rest in the present moment. I open my heart to all of my feelings and experiences.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Stress, Well-being, Wholeness, change, inner confidence, life, love, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, spirituality, transformation, transition | Tagged inner confidence, love, personal growth, Relationship with Self, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, transformation, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
The older I get, the more deeply I appreciate that wonderful balance of having friends along with a ’significant other’. Even though it can be a challenge at times due to home, work and family commitments, it’s vital to a sense of wholeness.
For me, I notice that female friends offer a level of connection that is so different from what I have with my life mate. Not better. Just different. That difference is what adds richness to my life. The sharing, support, like-mindedness, truth-telling, camaraderie (all that and more) supports me in staying in touch with myself and nourishes my soul.
I’ve challenged clients who have rules that when they’re in a romantic relationship, the relationship comes before all other relationships. Is that helpful? What would it be like to let go of that ‘rule’ or old pattern and include all relationships in your circle of support and love? How might that deepen your ability to take responsibility for your life?
After those special times with my own company and that of close friends, I am able to be there for my life partner without any expectations. I meet him with a full plate, so to speak. I can then fully appreciate what he has to offer my life – a male perspective that can expand my world, the pleasure that he gets from giving to me, the artisanship that combines with my skills to create a home, the very practical input that handles the many details that aren’t my ‘cup of tea’, and the romance – can’t forget that!
Affirmations:
I open myself to ALL who are in my circle of love. I honour the particular flow of each flavour of what that love looks like. I am blessed and appreciate it all.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Well-being, Wholeness, coaching, communication, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, the feminine, transformation | Tagged change, inner confidence, love, Relationship with Self, relationships, self, self-esteem, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
The circle of friends and family that you surround yourself with makes a significant difference in the quality of your life. For an introvert, this may look like a few good, solid friendships and, for an extrovert, the circle might be significantly larger.
The size of your relationship circle isn’t what’s important. What is important is that YOU are at the center of your circle – your relationship with yourself, a Higher Power and Nature.
The other key is that you see your relationships as a composite so that your focus is not just on one person. For example, a mate will not give you everything that you need in terms of support. Nor will one friend.
For me, I notice that some friends bring a deep sense of experience and wisdom while others share a common interest (like delving into new avenues for personal growth). There are friends with whom I enjoy a lot of fun and laughter. With others, there is a long history of friendship and a deep knowing of one another and how far we’ve come.
What can happen when you set up your support system based on one person is that expectations and control issues might emerge. In other words, you may become needy with that person and let go of being the boss of yourself. This may be particularly true with your significant other.
What I notice is that the fullness of my heart coincides with my appreciation of the composite of ALL of what my relationships bring. The richness – and freedom – of life comes from allowing all of the people in my circle to touch my heart.
Affirmations:
I embrace all of my friends and family members who are part of my relationship circle. I know that each individual brings to me something different, and I to them. It’s the composite of it all that creates a full life. And for that I am deeply grateful.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Well-being, Wholeness, change, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-esteem | Tagged inner confidence, love, Relationship with Self, self, self-esteem, Stress, transformation, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
Sharing our feelings can build intimacy, particularly when women share with other women. I believe that there is the possibility of over-sharing, resulting in relationships becoming about work instead of fun. There is a delicate balance where no one rule fits all of our relationships.
Having said that, it is key that we do consistently open ourselves to our own feelings – the full range of joy and suffering. Listening with a compassionate heart to the inner, vulnerable voice and noticing the accompanying sensations in our body makes all the difference in our ability to feel truly alive.
The practice of experiencing what emerges in each moment encourages us to soften, release the past, and breathe in life at a deeper level.
Affirmations:
I open myself to experiencing all of my feelings by pausing, noticing them at a body, ’sensate’ level and being present to what is. I celebrate Life.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Well-being, Wholeness, change, coaching, communication, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem | Tagged coaching, love, Relationship with Self, respect, self, transformation, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
It’s especially important during chaotic, busy and stressful times to have an inner refuge which is a source of happiness. Knowing that you can find a refuge – a safe, inner sanctuary where you feel nourished – is the first step. Discovering what is your refuge is the next.
Pause. Take a moment to gently close your eyes. Ask yourself: What gives me refuge? What supports a felt sense of feeling safe inside myself?
For some of you, it may be your faith; for others, it may be a meditation practice, the experience of nature, a routine or ritual that feels really good, or taking the time to reflect on happy memories.
My refuge is a source of happiness for me that is separate from any outer circumstances. It’s during the quiet, ’simply being’ times that I connect to myself in ways that are loving, compassionate and accepting. I get in touch with who I really am.
My invitation is to take the time to find your refuge, your inner sanctuary, to support you in feeling an inner confidence that takes you through the ups and downs of life.
Affirmations:
I look to my inner world and find my refuge. I am safe. I am nourished. All is well.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Stress, Well-being, Wholeness, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, spirituality, transformation | Tagged inner confidence, Joy, love, peace, self, transformation, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
How do we live the easy life?
1. Stop ourselves when we notice that we’re striving or grasping for more. It’s all about balance.
2. Know ourselves – what we value, what we feel passionate about, what we want and what we don’t want. Self-awareness takes making life choices to a whole new level.
3. Embrace every opportunity to have a good laugh. Place laughing at ourselves into the mix.
4. Make the time to be in the silence of solitude. Time with ourselves naturally empties the mind.
5. Carefully select what issues we raise with those who surround us – harmony on the outside supports harmony on the inside.
6. Know that we don’t have to talk a lot to communicate. Sit back. Listen. Rest into a conversation.
7. Breathe. Do our best to be present for each moment of our lives.
8. When good things happen, notice and celebrate.
9. Through the tough times, tell ourselves: “This too shall pass” or “It is what it is”. Both work like charms.
10. Stay in our own business. Trying to control or fix other people’s business is like going upstream on a river. The easy life is all about going downstream.
Affirmations:
I am worthy of the easy life. I set the intention to live with ease.
Posted in change, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, self, self-esteem | Tagged inner confidence, Joy, life, love, Relationship with Self, self, self-esteem, simpliciy, spirituality, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
The particles of life or, in other words, life’s details, can be challenging to take care of on a daily basis. For everyone, it can create a busyness that can be hard to handle. This is especially true for those of us (as I include myself in this group) whose strength is not taking care of details.
The positive side of this limitation is that it usually means we are in the moment and can be free spirits at heart. This is a wonderful feeling that those who are naturally very, very responsible and focussed on details can sometimes miss. The downside is that we can forget important details and create frustration in those around us in the process.
How do we handle this challenge? What works for me is owning and accepting this about myself and creating strategies that set me up for success. Writing everything down, keeping my space organized, developing routines, concentrating on one thing at a time – all of these practices and more are useful in creating a structure. The biggest piece in this is asking for help. Working as a team – especially as a family – is key. And I notice that it’s okay for me to let someone lead the way whose strength is the details – it takes the pressure off of me.
Affirmations:
I accept all of myself. I ask for help. I support myself in meaningful ways. I am okay, and all is well.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Stress, Well-being, Wholeness, change, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, self, self-esteem, transition | Tagged change, emotions, freedom, growth, inspiration, life balance, life passages, love, personal growth, Relationship with Self, relationships, self-development, transitions, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
This can be a challenging time for some who have difficult relationships with certain family members. There can be a sense of dread regarding what is to come instead of a sense of excitement and ease.
How do you make it different this year? Here are some ideas that might spark you into a new frame of mind.
- You are responsible for only your journey in life. Their journey (choices) is their own to figure out. This belief supports you in staying in your own business.
- Notice if you have the belief that you have to express your feelings in order to be real. The truth is that there is a distinction between expressing your feelings and simply feeling them. Recognizing and allowing yourself to feel your feelings is what’s powerful. On an energetic level, others know when there are clear boundaries.
- There is a simple and lovely tool from Brain Gym. Imagine a white X over the person that is challenging for you to be around. Somehow it neutralizes the energy surge that you might have around that person and supports you in staying in your power.
- Practice the art of detachment which is NOT indifference. It’s truly being able to see the confusion in someone else’s actions and separate their behaviour from who they truly are. Compassion results as well as an ability to be with what is without trying to control it all.
Feel free to write in and give your ideas. What has worked for you during times when you experienced stressful family get-togethers?
And stay tuned for more on this timely topic…
Affirmations:
I am on my journey; they are on theirs. I can choose to express my feelings…or not. I reflect on my intention. Am I relating or controlling?
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Stress, Well-being, change, coaching, communication, inner confidence, life, love, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power | Tagged Christmas, communication, conflict, family, family drama, harmony, love, personal power | Leave a Comment »
Following the vein of my last post, being with family over the holidays can be challenging. Not every member of a family has a history of positive, heart connections with each other. There is an ideal, and then there is reality.
Expectations of the season coupled with old ’stuff’ between family members -amped up by stress – can create charged emotions. Knowing ways of dealing with the feelings and situations that may arise during a holiday, family get-together is useful. The intention is to create equanimity. Equanimity is about embracing it all. We open ourselves to ‘what is’ without resistance.
Practicing equanimity can look like this. We observe others behaviour from a place of curiosity, knowing deep in our hearts that their ’stuff’ belongs to them, not us. We are resourceful and whole. They are resourceful and whole. Boundaries are clear. Differences are accepted.
Taking the time to be centered is the key first step – the most caring gift that we can give to ourselves. Pausing. Breathing. Relaxing into the present moment. Feeling our body settle into a chair. Resting. Opening to what is happening internally in the moment. Knowing that taking action can essentially be about remaining silent and simply being with what is happening. Sensing at a body level, noticing our thoughts, opening to the feelings, stopping the story that we may be telling ourselves.
Affirmations:
I take the time to learn about myself as well as learn the skills that will help me stay present and open. I am worthy of this. From this place of presence, I respond to others in new ways. I know at my core that all is well. I am okay. ‘They’ are okay. Life goes on.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Wholeness, change, coaching, life, love, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self | Tagged family, holidays, personal power, relationships, self-care, Stress, Wholeness | 1 Comment »
Carl Jung wrote: “There is no coming to consciousness without pain”.
When we can’t sit still and simply ‘be’ and instead follow the urge to stay busy, we may be avoiding /resisting our feelings. It’s human to NOT want to feel pain. And it can be destructive. Addictions arise from our resistance. Stress. Numbness. Loss of vitality. Ill health. The list goes on.
What makes the difference? What helps us say yes to where we’re at in an honest, open way?
Firstly, it’s setting the intention to be with whatever arises as we tune in and notice. This is different than acting out feelings in destructive ways. Secondly, there are skills to develop that support us in being with ‘what is’ in a graceful way that promotes wholeness.
It’s a lifetime practice to foster and nurture our ability to truly feel. It’s a practice to be aware of our body’s sensations, which accompany our feelings. It is this consciousness that enables us to navigate through the pain and challenges of life and be present to the joy.
Pausing. Separating the story from the feeling. Allowing ourselves to experience the energy of whatever feeling that is present. Deeply knowing any painful feeling is simply turbulence that has come to visit for awhile and will pass.
To take the time and energy to learn, to receive the needed support, to invest in ourselves – all this and more are gifts that we give ourselves on our path toward Consciousness.
Affirmations:
Navigating the pain-body until I reach the other side is a skill that is worth fostering. Life offers so much – I am ready to experience it all.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Stress, Success, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, body, change, coaching, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, gratitude, health, human, inner confidence, inner peace, life, love, mind, motivational, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, serenity, spirit, spirituality, transformation, transition, vitality | Tagged confidence, emotional intelligence, inner confidence, personal growth, self, self-development, serenity, spirituality, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
In these busy times, each of us knows at a core level that when we take those moments to simply ‘be’ – breathe, rest into our chair, and then nourish ourself with healthy food – it makes a difference in our life. New perspectives about a challenge can emerge in the quiet. Life’s possibilities are more readily seen. The day ahead looks more like, “I can handle this’.
The journey is knowing that each one of us is worthy of taking the time to care for ourselves. When we lovingly address our own needs, those whose lives we touch are impacted. We make a difference at a heart level.
Affirmations:
I take the time to ‘be’ today . I take care of myself. I get in touch with my core. I rest. I notice something beautiful. I eat or drink what nourishes me. I notice my breath. I check in with my body. I appreciate being alive.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, Stress, Success, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, body, coaching, fulfillment, gratitude, health, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, life, love, mind, mindfulness, motivational, personal development, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, serenity, spirit, spirituality, transformation, transition, vitality | Tagged body, fulfillment, health, love, mind, mindfulnes, renewal, self, spirit, Success | Leave a Comment »
Evaluating our behaviour is common to all of us. Did we get it right or were we wrong? Did we choose the high road or the low road? Do we feel bad about ourselves and our choices or feel good about who we are and how we behaved?
Over and over, I see naturally-giving, loving people ask themselves these questions to the point that they are suffering with self-doubt. Judgment breeds blame, whether it be of self or others. It can stop us in our tracks from feeling happiness, peace and love.
Those who usually give themselves the hardest rap are often people who truly want to be their best selves and whose innate goodness is so apparent. The pit is that they expect themselves to be perfect.
Is this you?
What is another way of being with yourself and the myriad of choices that are yours to make in life? What will support you in keeping your heart open to yourself and others regardless of the behaviour?
I, too, know the judgment pit. The key is to develop a new practice to be with the old conditioning/paradigm of black and white, good and evil, right and wrong, good and bad thinking.
This is what has made a difference to me when I am conscious and connected to myself:
- I catch myself when I am thinking in terms of duality. We are Life which includes our humanness and Divinity; our perfection and our imperfection.
- What I know is that my intention is to love and, sometimes, I slip. I allow myself to reflect on how I handled a situation if my conscience gives me a nudge to do this. I listen to feedback from others along with my inner wisdom and knowing. I open myself to learning new skills and/or new ways of looking at situations.
- I pause, breathe and stop feeding the mind that judges. I give myself permission to feel. I listen. I tell my heart: “I love you”.
- I do my best to be compassionate with others as with myself, humbly reminding myself that we are One.
Affirmations:
I am Life. I walk this earth deeply knowing that there is no right or wrong in the big picture. I trust my path. The more that I lovingly and compassionately be with my doubts and transgressions, the more I allow love to heal the old conditioning. My heart leads; my light shines. Particularly in the stillness, I am in touch with my Divinity.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Stress, Success, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, body, change, coaching, communication, emotional intelligence, family, fulfillment, health, human, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, life, love, mind, mindfulness, motivational, personal development, personal growth, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, serenity, spirit, spirituality | Tagged conscience, guilt, Integrity, life, love, morality, non-duality, spirit, spirituality | Leave a Comment »
The way we deal with money says a lot about how we operate in the arena of claiming our lives as our own.
Take a moment to reflect about how the above statement applies to you. To assist you, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I give away/spend on others more than I can afford?
- What part of me gives to others? The pleaser? The rescuer? The manipulator? The competitor?
- Is it easier to spend my money giving to others than addressing my own needs?
- Is it difficult for me to say no to a loved one who needs my money, even when my heart really does not want to say yes?
- Am I into fairness? As soon as someone is generous with me, do I feel compelled to return their generosity or even outshine them?
- Am I low on the top of the list of those who benefit from the money that I make?
- Do I have my own bank account, an account where I call the shots?
- Do I have a plan for spending my money that sets clear boundaries – listening to my own integrity instead of anyone/everyone else’s?
- How do I use my money to take care of what I need – first and foremost?
- What are MY top priorities in terms of spending money?
Because of old conditioning, I notice that it is vital for me to have clear boundaries regarding how much of my money I give away under the guise of fairness. When I create a plan that works for me, depending on the situation, I put into balance the ‘giving and receiving’ component of money. I listen to what feels right for me so that my words, actions, feelings and energy/body sensations line up, AND there are no doubts.
Affirmations:
Taking the time to create a plan that has me live in financial integrity is a gift that I give myself. I take charge of MY money as I understand that money is an exchange of energy. I listen to my heart and body when my giving is out of sync with what feels right to me. It is okay for me to own my power in the arena of money/energy.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Stress, Success, Well-being, Wholeness, abundance, co dependency, coaching, communication, human, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, interdependence, life, mind, motivational, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, serenity, vitality | Tagged abundance, confidence, finances, money, personal growth, power, self, self-confidence, self-responsibility, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
This past week, I again had the privilege of witnessing/listening to a man who has been a client of mine for many years. He reflected on how good his relationships are right now in his life. I asked him what is different for him. He knew immediately – he insightfully said that he no longer tries to control others.
How did he get to this place? There’s a wonderful book called, “Getting Real:Ten Truth Skills You Need to Lead an Authentic Life” by Susan Campbell which I highly recommend in my retreats and with individual clients. It is a process to integrate the paradigm shift of relating to instead of controlling others. He has been on that journey.
Along with integrating new thinking, the biggest piece that has him actually apply what he has learned is his inner happiness. He knows who he is – his strengths as well as his limitations. He accepts who he is. He also accepts his past and the people who have played a part in it. He notices the cues that tell him he’s stressed and listens to the message by sitting back, ‘being’ and rejuvenating. He is honest with himself – asking the hard questions so that he truly checks in with his intentions. He makes his own choices.
The time and energy that he has applied to his inner growth has had a powerful impact on his personal relationships which ripples outwards to his work. To be in a place where he can let the people around him be who they are, respect them, love them and collaborate with them is an achievement that he went after – with success.
Affirmations:
I focus on what is in my control rather than what is not. I am curious even when someone doesn’t agree with me. I speak my mind – simply, directly and transparently. I want to hear the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. I wait and see how others respond to me on their own without trying to manipulate anyone.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relatonships, Stress, Success, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, change, co dependency, coaching, communication, emotional intelligence, family, fulfillment, gratitude, inner confidence, inspiring, interdependence, love, personal growth and self-development, power | Tagged confidence, interdependence, intimacy, love, power, relationships | Leave a Comment »
A Zen saying is that “you are already complete. You just don’t know it.”
In a similar vein, for the closing of each of my newsletters, I write: “In the spirit of being complete and not finished”. My belief is that we are all complete and whole just as we are; the ‘not finished’ part is that I know this in my head and not consistently in my heart.
The path that I walk and support others in walking is to know our wholeness at a core level. Deeply knowing in our cells that we are complete ‘just as we are’ stops in its tracks such states as striving, grasping,and having to ‘get it right’. In life, we naturally grow and expand. We truly don’t have to fight or struggle to do so.
Affirmations:
I take the time each day to cultivate my connection to my core. I am whole and complete. I trust my journey as it is uniquely mine. I am kind toward myself and others as I make my way to my true home – deep inside of me.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, coaching, inner confidence, life, love, personal development, personal growth, self-esteem | Tagged confidence, Divine, love, mind, self, spirituality, trust | Leave a Comment »
I feel so excited and grateful for this opportunity that all of us have to experience true leadership at such a close range. President Obama’s commitment to transparency allows us to see what it’s like when someone leads from this grounded place of clarity, integrity, and love.
Obama’s stake (think of the metaphor of a tetherball) is so obvious and consistent in all that he says and does. From the beginning, we knew what he stood for because he has a singular message that drives his leadership decisions. Change. Mutual responsibility. Collaboration. Transparency. Integrity. Unity. Not only do we know what he stands for , we know who he is because he walks the talk.
Even as he is witnessed by the media, both he and his wife appear so natural and comfortable in their skins, loving and respectful of one another and others. There is nothing for them to hide; it’s the real deal. Their presence points to the power of ‘being’ ourselves as a way to impact others in positive ways.
When becoming a coach, I took a year long leadership program through the Coaches Training Institute and now get to see in action the principles of leadership that I was experientially taught. Obama is a model for us, and I can feel the shift everywhere as he has raises the standard of leadership and inspires us to step into a different perspective. How can we not look at the world and ourselves differently?
Coaching supports this kind of leading/’being’ in the world. As a true participant in life, we needs to know what we stand for – it simplifies how we live our lives. Our choices/decisions come from this stand – the difference we want to make. That’s inner confidence because the very nature of this perspective has us move on from our pasts, whatever our ’stories’ may be. We know who we are and, most important, we know our purpose.
It becomes very gratifying to live life in this way, even in the midst of any mind chatter that is part of being human.
Affirmations:
I wake up to who I am and what I stand for. Making my choices around my values has me feel congruent, grounded and purposeful. I step into the unknown with the confidence that comes from making decisions based on my principles. I humbly appreciate the opportunity to reach out and share my gifts.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relatonships, body, change, coaching, communication, emotional intelligence, family, fulfillment, gratitude, inner confidence, inspiring, interdependence, leadership, life, love, motivational, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, self-esteem, spirit, transformation, transition | Tagged change, collaboration, confidence, inspiration, leadership, life, love, President Obama, relationships, values | Leave a Comment »
Notice how often we talk about the weather and the degree to which it can influence our lives. It can be too cold, hot, dry or rainy – a full range of temperatures and sunshine depending on the day, or even the hour, and where we live. The wind, snow and ice influence how and where we drive our vehicles. The weather not only can dictate what we do, it also can be the deciding factor as to what clothes we choose to wear as well as what is our current mood.
Using the weather as a metaphor, I often ask coaching questions like, “What’s your internal weather like?” or “What’s the weather like in your relationship?” Clients get where they’re at at a body level, with few words that say a lot. From there, the dialogue, learning and dance between us takes off in the direction it needs to go.
Speaking from the wisdom that is within all of us, a client shared: “I think I am beginning to understand the concept of internal weather and not being affected as much by things happening around me. ” What a significant shift in perspective. The impact of this perspective has the possibility of shifting the quality of her life as she claims it at another level.
Affirmations:
I take the time to learn the tools that support me in fully taking responsibility for my inner weather and the weather in my relationships. I know that I can stay in touch with my center in the midst of any storm. I trust myself and life.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Stress, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, co dependency, coaching, communication, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, gratitude, health, human, inner confidence, inner peace, interdependence, life, personal growth and self-development, power, self, self-confidence, vitality | Tagged confidence, control, emotions, life, power, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
What I see in my experience on this path of self-development is that there is a powerful connection between spirit and confidence – the stronger the connection to spirit, the greater the inner confidence.
Colin Tipping who teaches ‘radical forgiveness’ talks about three types of intelligence – mental, emotional and spiritual. Schools focus on grooming mental intelligence. Studies actually demonstrate that an indicator of success in a person’s future relies more on emotional intelligence – the ability to self-manage emotions, to collaborate, and to lead.
Taking the time to develop our spiritual intelligence – that which connects us to Divine Intelligence – supports us in knowing the truth of who we are. It gives our life a broader meaning beyond our ego’s limited perceptions.
What is a practice that nourishes your connection to spirit? Is it meditation? A daily walk in nature? Your yoga practice? Quiet, reflective time within a sacred space? Writing in your journal? Reading inspirational books? Or is it a unique combination of many practices that can start (or end) your day in a way that grounds you and prepares you for the stress and challenges that may lie ahead?
Whatever you choose to do, slowing down, breathing, being in silence, reflecting and deeply listening to the core of you are important ingredients.
Affirmations:
I am willing to be open to the possibility that everything happens for a reason. I am willing to accept that there is perfection in every moment and every situation, even though I likely do not understand it all. It is my destiny to experience and grow, and I am Divinely supported in this. We are here to teach one another no matter what it looks like through my human eyes. I am safe and loved. I choose peace.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Joy, Success, Well-being, balance, change, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, gratitude, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, life, love, mindfulness, personal development, personal growth and self-development, power, self-confidence, self-esteem, serenity, spirit, spirituality | Tagged faith, love, serenity, spirit, trust | Leave a Comment »
When we are about to take some form of action, it is important to be able to make a particular distinction. Is fear talking to me in this moment or is it intuition? How do I know? What’s the difference?
The first step in distinguishing between the voice of fear and the voice of intuition is the practice of mindfulness. Simply noticing – thoughts, feelings, body sensations, images, metaphors – from the place of our Impartial Witness. It is from this place, that we can respond to life in new ways.
With mindfulness, we can notice that the voice of fear feels very different, even at a body level. It’s a signal that we need to protect ourselves. When we are physically in danger, it’s an important voice requiring our attention. At other times, it can stop us in our tracks because its message is based on a lie. Some form of constriction happens whether it shows up as tightness in our bodies and rigidity/rumination in our thinking.
Our intuitive voice feels very differently. Our heart is open. We are calm and grounded. The message from our inner voice comes from love. We simply and deeply know.
Noticing and loving the fear when it shows up is a never-ending process. Taking the time to listen to our intuitive voice also requires a practice that includes quiet and presence.
Affirmations:
I notice my fear and breathe – connecting to what’s true. I listen to my Divine Heart, my intuitive guide. I am safe and loved.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, body, change, co dependency, coaching, communication, emotional intelligence, human, inner confidence, inner peace, interdependence, life, love, mind, mindfulness, personal growth and self-development, power, serenity, spirit, spirituality, vitality | Tagged confidence, emotions, feelings, intuition, life, relationships, spirituality | Leave a Comment »
Say yes. In my view, keeping your heart open to your feelings is about the most important spiritual work that you can do.
There’s a distinction between deeply feeling your feelings and expressing them to those around you. The victim, persecutor or rescuer within us can show up in that expression and, in the process, hurt our relationships. In the long run, that initial feeling of release isn’t always worth it.
When we open our hearts to feeling without the accompaniment of our mind’s ’story’ – lovingly recognizing and accepting our feelings without judgment – there is an opportunity for healing. In this scenario, we get that no one can ‘make’ us feel anything. We also get that our feelings reflect how we perceive what’s happening, separate from what’s really happening.
Affirmations:
I open my heart to feel – accepting ALL of my feelings with love. I acknowledge my humanness. I can now separate the facts from the interpretations/assumptions in my story. I am willing to see in a new way. I realize that even though I may not understand why, my soul has created this situation so I can learn and grow.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, change, co dependency, coaching, communication, emotional intelligence, human, inner confidence, inner peace, interdependence, life, mind, mindfulness, personal growth and self-development, power, spirit, spirituality | Tagged acceptance, emotional intelligence, inner confidence, love, mind, power, spirit | 1 Comment »
What does bliss mean to you? What ‘being’ states are components of feeling blissful to you?
For example, a sense of flow, equanimity (embracing and experiencing all of life and being connected to an inner sense of peace, a grounded peace) and self-acceptance are all feeling states that support my own definition of bliss.
There’s another component to this thread. How does bliss feel in your body? Getting the sensations of bliss at a body level is a support for you to be in bliss – even in the midst of chaos. You will be there at the core of you in spite of the circumstances that surround you. There’s much potential for personal freedom and wholeness in deeply experiencing bliss.
Finding bliss is very separate from going after or grasping or striving or chasing bliss. Actually, finding bliss is about opening your mind to it and then noticing its presence, especially at a body/heart level. When I feel a flow and ease no matter what is happening around me, I am on the river of bliss. I simply notice.
Again, what is bliss to you? What does it feel like to be moving downstream on the river of life? Trusting? Accepting? Open-hearted? Courageous? Close your eyes and find this place within you. Smile. Celebrate.
In the midst of chaos (separate from getting in touch with that place of grounded peace/bliss), take the time to also address what’s there for you to explore and learn. There is a powerful worksheet at www.radicalforgiveness.com – click under Login to ON-Line Programs and register. The Miracle Worksheet is free and worth a visit (s).
Affirmations:
I incline my mind toward my definition of bliss. I take the time to notice its presence. I cultivate bliss at a body level, deeply sensing and honouring this most sacred of places.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, balance, body, coaching, emotional intelligence, gratitude, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, life, personal growth and self-development, power, self-confidence, self-esteem, serenity, spirituality | Leave a Comment »
Loving who you are, expressing who you are, naturally showing up as who you are wherever you are – in other words, simply being yourself – feels good. This place comes from an inner confidence.
You are connected to what gives you energy and what doesn’t. You know your values. You recognize your feelings, allow yourself to experience them, and deeply investigate their message for you. You understand that emotions are a vehicle through which your soul talks to you. You can say yes or no as your boundaries are clear. A dance occurs with Life. You are in the zone of love – engaged and alive.
During these economic times, there appears to be a shift occurring which has this kind of authenticity become even more important. People are realizing that the accumulation of stuff doesn’t bring fulfillment. The expression of our natural talents, developing them into real strengths, and tapping into them to contribute to others around us does bring a whole new level of fulfillment. When we naturally express ourselves – in other words, when we are in the flow – the money that we need magically comes.
Finding work that expresses our authentic selves becomes more important than money which is simply one of many currencies. As a coach, I can’t tell you how often I’ve been with a client through the Inner Confidence process who really ‘got’ the myth that money brings happiness once they made a lot of it.
Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs lists basic needs (food, shelter) at the lowest rung of the ladder, next is safety where money generally lies, after that is love and belonging, then esteem and, lastly, self-actualization. The amount of money that brings a level of security/safety is different for everyone. It’s important to ask yourself the question – what is wealth to you? Where does real security lie for you?
For many in these vulnerable times, the self-actualization stage is drawing them to personal growth. Supposedly, the sale of self-help books is skyrocketing. People want to be grounded and authentic, now more than ever.
Affirmations:
I invest in myself with time, energy and, yes, money with the intention to be grounded in who I naturally am. The dance of Life will take care of itself as I listen to my Inner Guidance. I will know the next step for me because I am alert and in the present – in tune with myself. Step by step – listening, connected to myself, understanding myself, expressing myself – I trust the process of my Life.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Success, Well-being, Wholeness, abundance, authenticity, balance, coaching, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, gratitude, health, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, life, love, personal growth and self-development, power, self-confidence, self-esteem, spirit | Tagged abundance, authenticity, engagement, life, money, passion, realness, the economy, wealth | Leave a Comment »
All of us perceive life, circumstances, and other people through our own eyes – reflecting our own ’stuff’.
It is important to really get in your bones that what people make up about you is mostly about them – their own projections. You are not responsible for their reactions to what you do or say. They are responsible for making the most of every opportunity for learning that comes their way. In other words, they are responsible for their own ’stuff’.
When anyone tries to make it about you, control is in the air. They are on your side of the fence. Taking responsibility for other people’s reactions/stories is being overly-responsible which leads to an imbalance.
Your job is to decide if there is any truth to what they are saying about you. Instead of living in the land of blame or victim, self-reflecting on your side of the fence is essential to your own happiness and the happiness level in your relationships with those around you. With self-awareness, self-honesty, compassion, forgiveness, and a willingness to expand, moving forward naturally happens.
What is also very important to get is that what you make up about life, circumstances, and other people is mostly about you. Your reactions are yours. When you make it about someone else, control is in the air.
Self-responsibility leads to inner balance. From this perspective – truly taking responsibility for yourself as a creator instead of a victim – you know at your very core that you are at choice. You get to decide how you want to be in the world.
Your work is to get really clear about yourself. What are your values? What is living ‘in integrity’ for you? What stand do you want to take to make a difference in the world? All of this is self-directed, separate from other people’s stories or rules about how you ’should’ behave.
Affirmations:
I am grateful to learn about myself through my relationships. I take responsibility for the mirroring of those around me so I can know myself more deeply. I release responsibility for other’s reactions. I accept that there is no right or wrong in the big picture. I am okay. I am doing the best I can. I choose to learn new ways of relating- or not – depending on my own values.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Well-being, Wholeness, authenticity, co dependency, coaching, communication, emotional intelligence, family, fulfillment, gratitude, inner confidence, inner peace, interdependence, life, personal growth and self-development, power, self-confidence, self-esteem | Leave a Comment »
Everyone has ’stuff’ – it’s part of being human. When we stop taking responsibility for other people’s ’stuff’ as well as stop shifting responsibility to others for our ’stuff’, space is created for a new way of relating. A sense of freedom grows that is priceless.
For natural givers, it can be easy to take the blame and responsibility when someone criticizes and blames you for their feelings. You can allow yourself to be controlled in this way. Also, you can feel resentment toward them – a signal that you are participating in the Blame Game.
The readiness to be over-responsible encourages you to become disconnected to your own feelings and wants. Instead, you are out there – taking care of, pleasing and, in the end, ‘trying’ to control or manipulate others. A dynamic occurs that can get messy.
If such thoughts pass your mind like “I was only trying to help”, “I’m trying my best to be good”, “I really want this for them – and, yes, it will really help me if they make this change, too” – you are in this territory.
Take a moment to close your eyes and become aware of the inhaling and exhaling of your breath. Ask yourself: What are the ways that I control others so that I will feel better? From this place of self-honesty and openness, what do you notice? What do you want for yourself?
Affirmations:
I am willing to accept that other people’s reactions are their own responsibility. I notice what is different for me at a body level and in my behaviour when I come from this new place. I relate to others instead of try to control them.
_________________
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of women and men to experience an inner confidence – that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth.
In her coaching practice, Jeannie leads groups and works one-on-one with an international clientele. To find out more about Jeannie, please visit her websites, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com and www.coachingcircles.ca
Take action by setting up a complimentary consultation today.
________
© Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeannie Campanelli and www.claimyourlifeasyourown.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Relatonships, Wholeness, authenticity, balance, body, change, co dependency, family, fulfillment, human, inner confidence, inner peace, life, love, mindfulness, power | Tagged confidence, relationships, self, self-responsibility, serenity, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
In my world, the days can fly. I busily coach and in between sessions complete my list of daily To Do’s – both for my business and personal life. I enjoy feeling engaged and productive – it’s a natural part of my personality. When I’m in the creative flow and building a sense of momentum in moving forward, I feel good.
And often, at the close of an active day as I allow myself to truly stop and rest, I realize that it would have been okay for me to slow down in between my coaching. Yes, it was gratifying to get things done, and I can take my time – trusting that what truly needs to get done will get done eventually.
All of us are on our own this path of learning and growth, and we all have an edge (that tipping point when we know that stepping over to the other side will change the status quo). When we meet an edge, it is helpful to get clear on our vision of what’s on the other side. In other words, an inquiry might be: What will stepping over this edge bring me that I essentially want more of?
Slowing down is my edge. What is there for me if I slow down? If you relate to my inquiry, please make it your own. I will share my vision for myself and ask that you write about yours and share it with someone else as well. Being witnessed with compassion and acceptance is a powerful act in the process of change.
Slowing down gives me time to breathe. All the moments of my day get to be experienced in their fullness – whether they are pleasurable or uncomfortable. Being with ‘what is’ gives me the opportunity to deepen my own journey toward self-love and self-acceptance as I, too, explore inner confidence. Better digestion, deeper sleeps, a greater sense of flow, an increase in reflective time – slowing down brings all this and more.
What does slowing down bring you? Feel free to comment so we can build a list that has all of us who are called to slow down expand our vision of what’s possible on the other side.
Affirmations:
It is safe for me to stop and rest. I pace my days – breathing, enjoying the beauty of nature around me and feeling grateful for all the good stuff. I nurture my trust in Life. There is an abundance of time when I truly live from Presence.
____________________
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Well-being, Wholeness, abundance, authenticity, balance, body, change, coaching, fulfillment, gratitude, inner peace, life, mindfulness, personal growth and self-development | Tagged abundance, balance, confidence, life, self, time, trust | 1 Comment »
When we express ourselves with conviction, what we share has an impact. People listen, and the possibility of empowering others is present.
This quality of conviction in our sharing comes from a grounded place within us of pure knowing. In other words, “I’ve been there” and “I get it” underlies our words. Our message does not come from reading a book; it comes from experience. We’ve lived it.
We know in our bones what works for us. We’ve experienced the results of a specific action or step. Our intention in sharing what we have learned through experience comes from humility and compassion. We are not rescuing. We are not attached to the person following what we have to say. We trust that they are creative, resourceful and whole. We are simply sharing when the opportunity is ripe, and the person in front of us is open to hearing.
Real power lies in our ability to create. Learning from our experiences and sharing that wisdom with others creates possibility.
Affirmations:
I value all of my experiences. I trust that each situation or circumstance that challenges me to grow is perfect. In that perfection, I am blessed to share what I know with those who are open and requesting what I have to offer. I appreciate that many times, the opportunity to share with conviction is born in the silence of simply being.
Posted in Relatonships, Wholeness, authenticity, coaching, family, fulfillment, interdependence, life, personal growth and self-development, power | Tagged communication, relationships, self-expression, wisdom | Leave a Comment »
Sound familiar? I certainly get this place. And what I know from experience is that it’s an exhausting place to live. I’ll say more about me in service of you with the goal of illustrating this perspective (defined as a way of thinking).
Trying to control my thoughts, trying to control my feelings, trying to control the future, trying to control my body in terms of weight and health….the list can go on and on. The word ’should’ is often in the language that has me attempting to control. When stressed, I can use the words ‘change’ or ‘fix’. At the very least, I become aware of that tense, body place of working hard to get it right (usually a knot in my stomach). I can be looking out there instead of staying with my inner self. These are all hints that I’m living in the Land of Control.
What’s your list? How do you control? Create a page where you write down what you discover as you investigate this part of yourself. It’s very important to know how you control or more accurately ‘try’ to control Life.
Next, stop and ask yourself: what is true here? What is an objective, absolute fact about control? In other words, would every healthy human being on this planet agree with the fact that we can control our lives? When we reach that place of clearly being able to distinguish between fact and opinion, we are getting closer to letting go. We watch for what remains after we’ve flushed out our opinions. Without trying to change anything, we simply notice what’s true.
Affirmations:
I surrender. I unclench my fist and drop the ball of control. In this moment, I’m noticing that I am crossing the line from the Land of Control into the Land of Simply Being ( a title of a book written by my friend, Marlena Field). When I release the need to control, I breathe deeply and simply observe. I rest in the moment and simply experience what is. From this spaciousness, I see what’s next for me to experience. I stay on my side of the fence in my relationships. I trust that I will know how to respond. I learn what it’s like to feel free – in my bones.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, authenticity, balance, body, change, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, gratitude, health, human, inner confidence, inner peace, mindfulness, personal growth and self-development, power, spirituality | Tagged body, freedom, love, mind, spirit, trust | Leave a Comment »
What is the ‘gold’ for you? What is a currency that speaks to a deeper part of yourself? When you get in touch with your heart, what do you really, really want in Life?
Take a moment to allow the ‘gold’ that you are seeking to come to the surface. You may discover that a new car, a new house or even a new mate is outside of what your heart yearns for in this quiet place. Now take a moment to imagine yourself living that ‘gold’. What would be the symptoms?
When reading Sara Susanka’s The Not So Big Life (2008), she quotes an anonymous friend who came up with a list, The Symptoms of Inner Peace. My friend/colleague, Thea Sheldon, reminded me of this wonderful list that I now share with you as it fits my heart’s true yearning.
- A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than act in response to fears based on past experiences
- An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
- A loss of interest in judging other people
- A loss of interest in judging oneself
- A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
- A loss of interest in conflict
- A loss of ability to worry (a very serious symptom)
- Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation
- Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature
- Frequent attacks of smiling
- An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen
- An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it
Again, what are the symptoms of what YOU really want? It’s important to know. From this place of knowing, you open to possibility. You shift your orientation from victim to creator. You have a vision. Now you can focus on the baby steps toward that vision – one act at a time.
Affirmations:
I love myself unconditionally. I open my heart to feel its yearning. I listen. I am present to myself.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Well-being, Wholeness, authenticity, balance, fulfillment, gratitude, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, interdependence, life, love, motivational, personal growth and self-development, power, serenity, spirit, the feminine, transformation, vitality | Tagged heart, inner confidence, inspiration, knowing, love, passion | Leave a Comment »
Making changes – real changes – takes time. There’s a wonderful book called, “Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward”. This book clearly provides a change map that helps us understand and be patient with ourselves as we move toward new ways of thinking, being and acting.
Rushing through life has us lose our connection to ourselves. Rushing through learning something new (a true and lasting change) has us miss the depth of what’s there for us. The reality is it takes time to learn a new way, such as a new way of being with our feelings.
The first step is to identify where we’re at. We may be at the pre-contemplation stage – past denial when new awarenesses are gradually coming to the forefront either through feedback from others or our own internal noticing. At this point, we start to open to the possibility of what’s there – increasing our consciousness. Contemplation is the next stage when we explore how life could be different for us. This is the place of where we consider the consequences of change to ourselves and our world. It’s where we foster the emotional energy that we need to inspire us as we move forward through each stage to come. Decisions are to be made – leading us onto the next stage which is preparation. This stage is vital – it’s where you need to focus on successfully living your vision – being the change. You’re now committed and creating a plan and having a witness makes all the difference. The next stage has you slowing down, relaxing, and consciously taking action. Thinking in new ways comes from a place of responding instead of reacting. The final stage is maintenance which is all about living the change.
Today take time to reflect on a change that is speaking to you. When you see change as one baby step at a time, what do you notice at a body-sensate level? My experience is that clients take a sigh of relief as the pressure lifts. In processing out loud and being witnessed in their journey of expansion and growth through each stage with its accompanying baby steps, they feel engaged with their life at a new level – trusting, connected, and enjoying the impact of what they are creating for themselves.
Affirmations:
I am worthy of taking all the time that I need to learn and integrate what I want for myself. I patiently and lovingly be with my process – one stage at a time – trusting that I am on my unique path. I’m excited about where I’m heading. My connection with the loving and compassionate Impartial Witness that lives within me is growing.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Success, Well-being, balance, body, change, coaching, emotional intelligence, inner confidence, inner peace, love, mindfulness, motivational, personal growth, personal growth and self-development, self, transformation, transition | Tagged change, confidence, life, personal growth, transformation, transition | 1 Comment »
What does balance mean to you? This is a question that is very helpful to ponder, and one that I visit with most of my clients at some point in time. In truth, there are many who see this as their key focus in living a fulfilling life.
What currently isn’t working in terms of balance? Begin there as it will point you very clearly to what you do want. For instance, a client knew that he didn’t want to be so tired anymore which led him to see that the balance between rest and activity is calling to him. Although I feel energetic, I don’t want to spend my days ‘doing’ which points me to the balance of being and doing. Balancing saving and spending, travel and being home, the practice of generosity and frugality, solitude and social time – the possibilities of places to look for balance can go on and on.
What is YOUR list? What does your balancing act look like?
The next step is to look at what actions need to be taken to support the yearning that emerges from what you have listed. Although awareness is crucial, insights alone typically do not move us forward. What are practices or new habits that would support you in following through with what you discovered?
Change happens in baby steps. Take the time to reflect on this and then plan for what’s next. For example, in my realization that I am yearning for more time to simply ‘be’, I made the space in my calendar to spend time at my cottage to quietly read and reflect in nature. A respite to support me in reconnecting with myself at a deeper level. I have also booked a retreat in the mountains of California come June.
What are steps that you need to make? What is calling you so that you can create more balance in your journey of fully living your life?
Affirmations:
It is important for me to create balance in my life as I know the benefits that I reap when I take care of myself in this way.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Stress, Well-being, Wholeness, authenticity, balance, change, coaching, fulfillment, inner peace, life, personal growth and self-development, power, serenity, transformation | Tagged balance, health, life, peace, Relationship with Self, Stress | Leave a Comment »
I use the term, “claiming your life as your own”, a lot – it’s my signature tag line. Those of you who ‘get’ the meaning of this, do so because at a gut level you’re aware that this is your work. My perspective is that fully claiming our lives is everyone’s work – at varying degrees.
For myself, it means truly living my own life rather than someone else’s. Being in touch with what feels right to say yes to and what feels right to say no to is part of this process. Knowing my values, my strengths, my calling – all this and more has me step into my life and surrender to Life itself in a way that makes all the difference.
The paradox is that getting into step with our own lives brings wholeness – that sense of oneness and connection. It is when we are in touch with our core that we are able to truly serve others from an empowering place instead of from the Rescuer role.
Affirmations:
I claim my life as my own – recognizing the sacred in myself and my life. I understand that I am part of an evolving human journey. What I do impacts others. From this perspective of the ‘big picture’, I take full responsibility for my life.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Wholeness, authenticity, balance, change, health, human, inner confidence, inner peace, mindfulness, personal growth and self-development, power, serenity, spirit | Tagged self-responsibility, spirit, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
What are the ways that you know at a heart level that you have inner confidence? In other words, what are the symptoms of inner confidence for you?
On my website, www.innerconfidencecoaching.com, I write about this quality of being and continue to examine its flavour in my newsletters and this blog. I define inner confidence essentially as:
- Deeply knowing yourself. This entails knowing your values, passions, strengths, callings, needs, old beliefs and much, much more. It also means knowing at an experiential level the answer to the question, “Who am I…really?
- Accepting the lightness and darkness of being human. You allow yourself to feel ALL of your feelings, knowing feelings are the pathway to the soul. You hear the thoughts of the mind with compassion and a curiosity so that you can separate opinion from what is true.
- Living freely from your true self. In experiencing the answer to the question, “Who am I really?, you are able to live the challenge of being translucent. You contribute in a natural way that fits your strengths and yearnings. You are authentic in how you relate to others.
What resonates with you about what I have written? How does it fit with the meaning that you attach to inner confidence?
There are many facets to inner confidence, an ever deepening process. Landing here on this site is a sign that you want more of this. The first step is to get clear on what that ‘more’ looks like- for you.
Affirmations:
I reflect with a natural curiosity and openness about my path toward inner confidence. I listen to my heart. I follow where it leads me.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Joy, Relationship with Self, authenticity, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, gratitude, inner confidence, inner peace, life, love, mindfulness, spirituality | Tagged inner confidence, life, love, self, spirit, Well-being, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
A component of a deepening inner confidence is that we naturally begin to take our personalities less seriously. Resistance melts away as we identify more strongly with the sense of oneness and connection rather than being right or wrong, good or bad, positive or negative. We simply become less rigid about it all and laugh more, especially at ourselves.
From this ‘awakened’ state, we are able to be in the flow of life – listening closely to what feels right to us – rather than living at the mercy of old conditioning and habits. Trying to fix or change old conditioning and habits moves farther into the background of our minds; moving toward vitality and purpose steps into the foreground.
The compass that points us toward vitality and fulfillment is our body as it sidesteps the old conditioning and habits advocated by our mind. This level of self-awareness requires us to be in the moment – paying attention to our body’s sensations and listening to its messages.
To get a sense of what I’m talking about, experiment with this exercise that I adapted from Karen Vizer.
Take a quiet moment to imagine yourself being asked to attend a lavish banquet and, in the next moment, you hear that the food being served is what you really don’t like. What do you notice are your body sensations? When you’re ready, shake off that energy and, through your breath, revisit that quiet place inside of you. Imagine that you have been invited to a banquet and, this time, you are served an array of your very favourite foods. What do you notice are your body sensations now?
The following is another experiment in becoming attuned to your body’s messages: Think of a peak moment in your life and return to the point when you made the decision leading to that special moment. What were the body sensations? Think of a time that didn’t work out for you in the way that you wanted and go back to the moment you made that decision. What do you notice here?
Trusting your body’s knowing as to what increases or decreases its energy – in other words, whether something feels yummy or yucky (or sometimes neutral) will support you in navigating through life toward what excites you, what moves you, what nourishes you. Freedom from the confines of your personality will be yours at another level.
Affirmations:
When I have a decision to make, I take the time to imagine myself following through with each of my choices. I pay attention to what my body sensations tells me – trusting that it has important information to assist me in living on purpose.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, authenticity, body, coaching, inner confidence, inspiring, mindfulness, vitality | Tagged body, life, mind, mindfulness, self, spirit | Leave a Comment »
Learning to embody inner confidence is a path worth taking. I can’t speak enough of the value that you get from investing in yourself in this way.
Take a moment to reflect: what is the price that you pay in terms of the quality of your relationships when you don’t feel true inner confidence? Do you mostly identify with your personality and get overwhelmed with the challenges of life? Are you defensive? Do you wear masks as you play familiar roles so that real intimacy remains at bay? Are you afraid to be transparent and vulnerable? Do you look out there for validation and, thereby, alternate between the games of blaming and pleasing? Do you know that feeling of being relaxed and naturally yourself, or is there an ever-present, watchful tension in your body? Do you find it hard to laugh at yourself?
What would you add to this list to make it your own?
And let’s spend time looking at the other side: what is your definition of inner confidence? A client today ‘got’ that her definition is to feel the inner freedom to be truly herself. For another client, it’s all about the Big Love that comes from an open heart. These clients and many more can see the shifts in their relationships as they embody their own definition of inner confidence.
What would inner confidence bring you? Can you imagine what your relationships would be like if you lived in the Land of Inner Confidence?
Affirmations:
I see the truth about where I am. I make the commitment to invest in myself and create what I want for myself.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in authenticity, balance, co dependency, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, health, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, personal growth and self-development | Tagged confidence, inner confidence, intimacy, relationships, self | Leave a Comment »
As I read Arjuna Ardagh’s “The Translucent Revolution” in preparation for my training in California with him come June, I feel so clear about my commitment to this level of coaching.
Because I have consciously worked with inner confidence both personally and professionally for much of my adult life, I really get that the spiritual component, this translucence, is necessary to deeply experience inner confidence. The personality and mind developed by conditioning and habits gets in the way of our being ourselves. Fixing those aspects of ourselves only goes so far. The mind has its limits. What I see is that shifting our internal frequencies instead of focusing on changing our external circumstances flows outward to all aspects of our lives in a natural and magical way.
Real freedom and fullness comes from identifying with the Presence that is within all of us. Many of us have glimpses of this ‘awakened’ state – and it is a challenge to live our lives from that place. This is the learning for me that I will pass on to you as I begin this challenging program with Arjuna. How to more deeply live a translucent life…and coach from that place in helping others do the same.
I’m very excited about this!
Affirmations:
I notice at a body level what energizes me today. I use my body compass to direct me on my path, trusting that all is well. I am grateful for the opportunities to deepen my relationship with Life. I embrace my sacredness.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in authenticity, balance, body, coaching, fulfillment, inner confidence, leadership, mindfulness, spirituality | Tagged awakening, heart, life, pain-body, spirituality, wisdom | 2 Comments »
When coaching this morning, a client stated, “It’s easy to love myself when I’m good and pleasant and pretty. It’s much more difficult when I’m just not there”. The context of this statement was that she was exploring the explosive and, in her terms, destructive anger that she can express. She wanted to “fix” this.
Is there anyone who doesn’t relate to her statement? Not in my world. I see most people have a more difficult time accepting those parts of themselves that do not measure up to how they think they ’should’ behave. Loving themselves – no matter what – is a challenge in those intense, emotional moments that may be acted out as a release.
One shift that can be very helpful in embracing the reactive part of ourselves is to notice when we talk about emotions in terms of “my”. This has us claim them as part of our identity. And is it true that we are ‘a feeling’? What would be different if we saw feelings as an energy with a beginning, middle and end that are simply passing through? Would it allow us to simply observe them, be with them at a body-sensate level, rest into them?
When we pause and get connected to what is happening within us, we have the opportunity to respond instead of react.
Affirmations:
I experience feelings. I am NOT my feelings.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Stress, Well-being, Wholeness, authenticity, inner confidence, inner peace, life, mindfulness | Tagged acceptance, emotional well-being, inner confidence, self | Leave a Comment »
What is a practice that nourishes you? Sustains you? Supports you in staying focussed? Connects you with your essence? A practice that has this impact on you is one that brings you to the experience of inner confidence.
Why is this so? You are centered in truly claiming your own life as you are in YOUR business. A more accurate statement might be that you are in your own heart. From this open heart, you are able to offer others around you a very different vibration/energy/atmosphere – one that nourishes them as well as yourself. You are not taking care of others as you see them as resourceful and whole (their essential self) in the same way as you see yourself.
Discovering practices that are simple and can be easily integrated throughout your day is a great starting point. What I have noticed is that a commitment to a simple ritual on a daily basis can make a significant difference in the quality of our lives.
For myself, I know that being able to rest in my core throughout the day is most powerful. It takes intention, commitment and loving practice in order to do this. Another practice that sustains me is to feel what’s there for me without resistance – a challenge and an ever-deepening process. Managing emotions (and the stories attached to them) is vital to truly experiencing the present moment.
There are so many other wonderful ways to support our uniqueness and wholeness as well as address our yearning to feel the peace that comes from inner confidence. To find what works for us is key on this path.
Affirmations:
I notice what practices increase my energy and connection to my core. I listen to what I learn about myself and follow through with action. The openness of my heart is like a window to the world.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Well-being, Wholeness, authenticity, balance, coaching, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, inner confidence, life, spirituality | Tagged connection, inner confidence, Relationship to Self, self-care, Wholeness | 2 Comments »
It’s tricky to let go. I was working with a client this week who explored each opposite: “I want it my way” and “I let it go”. These points of view can fight it out, and I believe that this is the case for all of us.
Becoming aware of what stops us from letting go is the first step. What stops you? Could it be that you’re afraid if you let go you will lose control? Chaos might result? Your agendas might be lost. You won’t get what you think you want?
We listen to the conditioning that says we’re supposed to get into action – any responsible person would. We’re really in charge of our lives. Beliefs, beliefs, beliefs.
What is one way that letting go can show up in our lives? What I know is that there are times in my life that I didn’t listen to logic. I made a decision to take action – or not – simply because I felt an energetic pull. In other words, my mind didn’t win the vote. I surrendered to a deeper part of myself.
For example, I married my first husband although there were signs that told me, logically-speaking, that it wasn’t a good idea. There were many challenges for me on this path. From the vantage point of where I am now, looking back, it was a perfect decision. No mistake. I learned so much that helps me do the work that I do. I gained so much strength around standing on my own. The experience was priceless and, I believe, part of my destiny.
What times in your life did you not listen to the voice of reason and instead listened to a deep part of yourself? You then discovered it all worked out in its own way – the way that was part of your destiny.
Affirmations:
I explore listening to the part that lives in the stillness and knows – the part beyond my mind. I let go of my need to understand it all with my mind. I open to surrendering to that inner knowing deep inside of me.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in authenticity, fulfillment, inner confidence, inner peace, interdependence, life, spirituality | Tagged inner confidence, letting go, life, relationship with life, trust | Leave a Comment »
David and I gather both of our families together each year to celebrate Easter/Spring. It ends up being quite the crowd for a sit-down meal of ham and stuffed turkey and everything else that goes along with it.
It’s so much fun to have everyone at our home, and we choose to continue doing this for as many years that we can. We love giving back to our generous families in this way and really put our hearts into making it special for everyone.
And…I notice that with anything in life, it comes with its challenges. A lot of work is involved to prepare the house and food as well as to be ‘in-the-moment’ attentive to the needs of approximately twenty guests. To put it simply, we were on the move for three and a half days. After the final clean-up, we gave ourselves the luxury of doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the day – we were that tired.
How does what I have shared fit with ‘inner confidence’ and ‘claiming your life as your own’? Firstly, this is all about choice for us – we want to do this. There is no part in any of it that comes from a ’should’ place. Giving in this way is in line with our values so any price tag that comes with it is worth it.
Secondly, I realized that I was stressed by the 3rd day when old conditioning/stories showed up in my mind, and I had less access to the Observer who simply notices. What is my learning in this? How do I pace myself while living my values? Trusting that all will get done, breathing, stopping to relax – all those practices and more help me get back on track and connected to my core. When I’m coming from that place, ease occurs.
I got to experience contrast this year with a clear intention that next Easter will be all about giving AND pacing.
Affirmations:
I accept all the parts of myself – embracing each quality’s lightness and darkness. I appreciate the learning that’s there for me. All is well.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Stress, Wholeness, balance, body, family, gratitude, inner confidence, inner peace, life, love | Tagged celebrations, family, inner confidence, life, Stress, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
As the sunshine and warmth of spring enters our world, we experience a breath of fresh air. From this place, we’re often inspired by possibilities – the opportunity to start fresh in some way.
What I notice is clients are coming to me with renewed purpose, neighbors are outside cleaning away the remnants of winter and planting their bulbs, friends are reconnecting. It’s a time of creativity and reaching out.
What is yearning to be born in you? What are you inspired to do?
Take a moment to pause and close your eyes. Through your breath, drop down into the stillness of the present moment and be with these questions. Listen to whatever comes to the surface either now or throughout your day. There is no need to force or push for an answer – it will come in its own way and time.
When an answer emerges that feels right to you, one that increases your energy, simply ‘be’ with this as well. Again without the energies of pushing and striving or trying to manufacture what you should do about these answers, rest into what you discovered. Be alert to what naturally comes forward as the next step. You will have an inner knowing, and your actions will come from an authentic place.
Affirmations:
I spend time in the Stillness of who I am…really. I listen. I trust.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, authenticity, fulfillment, inner confidence, inner peace, mindfulness | Tagged inner confidence, life, peace, self, transition | Leave a Comment »
What does your heart yearn for? Go to a quiet place within yourself and keep asking this powerful question. What do you discover?
For many, the answer that floats to the surface is all about love. A deep yearning for love.
And does the following fit you? Yearning for love and looking to find it out there – somewhere. Seeking. Working hard to be ‘good enough’ to receive love. Pleasing. Trying hard. Giving until depleted. Taking care of until resentment creeps up. Taking 150% responsibility in relationships. Striving.Pushing. Manufacturing. Pressuring.
So much inner confidence can be dripped away from our hearts when we look and look for love – out there. Even when and, sometimes particularly when, we’re with those who are closest to us in our lives.
What would be different if we released the charge of two opposite beliefs: “No one loves me” and “They love me”? What would it be like to land in the present – even just for moments at a time without searching, grasping, pressuring, pushing – all for the sake of finding love?
In the present, love is there – vibrating, expanding, permeating, filling, relaxing into, resting – through the heart. The veils drop away.
Affirmations:
It is safe to let go of the yearning and to truly find what I am looking for. Love is all around and within me. My heart is full. I know true inner confidence.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Well-being, Wholeness, authenticity, co dependency, fulfillment, inner confidence, inner peace, life, love | Tagged contentment, heart, life, love, spirit | Leave a Comment »
Life brings with it moments that are difficult to be with – it’s the same for all of us. How do we be with those difficult moments with grace? What is asked of us – called forth within us – in those moments?
What I have noticed is that part of the challenge in being with difficulties is our resistance and struggle with what is. We can feel anxious, alone, disconnected from ourselves , stuck, that something is missing – all painful emotions to experience. All part of life. And, yet, we want to avoid these emotions – run, deny, disown, numb out – what is, usually through endless activity.
Arjuna Ardagh in “The Translucent Revolution” talks about the “Iago Trance”. He writes that Iago, a character in Shakespeare’s play, “Othello”, is “a state of mind; he can’t be seen, he lives in the shadows. Yes his influence is found everywhere.” He goes on to describe that it’s the voice of collective conditioning – “problem-based living” that is all about struggle.
When we stop and inquire – who am I…really? – we experience the part of us that observes, that feels connected to spirit, that has access to deep wisdom and truth. How do we stay connected to our spirit, to Presence, so that in the midst of whatever is happening out there that we are reacting to, we are able to trust and surrender to what is? How do we stay in touch with this place of deep connection to ourselves where we know that we are loved and supported and feel grateful?
That is the true challenge. The first step is being aware of our deepest yearning. Today take the time to ask yourself – what is your deepest yearning? What is not being met in your life that you want more than anything else?
Affirmations:
In the midst of difficult moments, I open to experiencing the benevolent energy around me that deeply loves and supports me. I surrender. I trust. I am grateful.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, authenticity, balance, coaching, fulfillment, gratitude, inner confidence, inner peace, life, spirit, spirituality | Tagged awareness, inner confidence, inspiration, life, love | 1 Comment »
What do I mean by processing? Evaluating, judging, blaming, worrying, ‘trying hard’ to think one’s way out of a problem, focussing on every detail – all are ways that, as humans, we can process.
Processing – a lot – can become a habit of the mind that drains our energy. It takes us away from the present as well as our creative selves. Our happiness suffers as well as our peace of mind when stories (assumptions) are made up. We focus less on what’s real and more on illusions.
How do we take a pause from this habit that’s part of the inner chatter of the monkey mind? In coaching, we call this kind of chatter – The Gremlin.
1. We breathe.
2. We notice our surroundings and get in touch with our senses to bring us back into the present moment.
3. We notice our thoughts and write them down if it is helpful. Then we ask ourselves – is it true?
4. We rest into Awareness which opens us up to trusting life.
Affirmations:
Whatever is happening is perfect. All will unfold. I will know what to do – step by step.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Well-being, authenticity, balance, coaching, emotional intelligence, health, inner confidence, inner peace, mind, mindfulness, self | Tagged pain-body, Peace of Mind, Presence, serenity | 1 Comment »
All who come to me as clients go through a process that has them clearly identify their intentions – qualities that their heart wants to deeply experience. A client and I were reviewing her intention of fearless intimacy that she set for herself in 2007 when she left a long term relationship and began the process of consciously claiming her own life.
So much has happened since then. She has moved on to confidently enter a new relationship in which she practices fearless intimacy – a practice that has no end point, only ever-deepening layers.
What is fearless intimacy? For her, it means the vulnerability and strength that comes from letting go. To be seen as she is, to be with someone else as they are, and to stay connected to her heart throughout it all. Sometimes her heart is open; sometimes it is not. That’s the nature of being human. The key is that she notices and accepts the ebb and flow of intimacy.
Affirmations:
I practice intimacy and notice when it’s fearless as well as filled with fear. I allow myself to feel both – deeply, intimately, fully. In that moment, I am intimate with myself.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, authenticity, emotional intelligence, inner confidence, life, love, mindfulness, self | Tagged intimacy, love, relationships | 4 Comments »
“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one’s own self” – Montaigne
When you know and accept yourself and are deeply connected to your core, you find ways to express who you naturally are in the world. For some, this expression is less of a focus on a career and more about what happens after work hours. For others, the expression of their strengths that they’ve embraced and fostered everywhere they go and in all that they do. It’s just the way it is.
If you are in a career that doesn’t feel like you’re expressing your true self, what is the price that you are paying? Do you have an outlet where you can truly be yourself? Is that working for you? How important is it that you own, develop and express your gifts?
It takes time to make a transition from one career to the next – one that is a more natural expression of your strengths. This is a journey that cannot be rushed or forced. In my own experience – both personally and professionally – there is a preparation time and a plan that needs to be developed and gradually implemented. Mind, body and spirit need to be in alignment with a new path that is calling you.
When the timing is right, your life, then lines up in synchronistic ways. There’s a bigger picture which we don’t see. We just have to trust our hearts, go step by step, and be alert to the opportunities that present themselves. Our hearts will know what to do. We will feel the pull and experience an inner knowing that will have us say, “yes, I choose this” one choice at a time.
Affirmations:
I let go. I pay attention to knowing myself, accepting myself, being myself. I deepen my awareness of what I have to contribute and why I want to contribute it. The how’s find their way to me.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Success, Wholeness, authenticity, coaching, fulfillment, inner confidence | Tagged authenticity, Career, heart, purpose, transition, work | Leave a Comment »
When you hear the words “the same old over and over” or “Here we go again”, what do you think of? Is it an old habit that you don’t like? Over and over feelings that cause pain? A part of your life that you wish would change? A dynamic in a relationship that you want to go away? Or does your mind go to blessings in your life that you really appreciate? Simply notice.
As a coach, I hear all sides of life – the habits that don’t work, the painful feelings, the ups and downs of relationships, circumstances that are wished to be different, and what feels wonderful. There is no right or wrong in all of this – it’s life. Our experiences support us in growth and expansion – whatever those experiences look or feel like.
The words in this blog’s title(s) typically lead our thoughts to what isn’t working for us (in our view). Everyone has a pattern that gets triggered by different scenarios and is essentially the same old story. And as humans, it’s what we perceive as problems that usually encourage us to explore our deepest learning.
What is the learning for you in your ‘over and over’? What is your story that shows up a little differently each time AND not that different when it comes right down to it? It’s usually one that is based on early conditioning and/or trauma and reappears again and again. Some typical ones are – I am unloveable, I am not important, something is wrong with me, I am not good enough…
It’s important to know your ‘over and over’ story and to question its truth. Freedom is on the other side.
Affirmations:
I pay attention to the ‘over and over’s’ in my life. ”Here we go again’ teaches me about myself and what is here for me to learn. I explore – I accept – I feel the resistance to feel – I feel without the story – and my body lets go. If I need to, I choose a witness who will lead me through this process so I understand it deep in my bones. I give myself the gift of freedom to respond rather than react to all that occurs in my life. I write new stories.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, authenticity, balance, change, inner confidence, life, serenity | Tagged acceptance, Choice, life, power, Wholeness | 1 Comment »
For many whose work it is to fully claim our lives as our own, who have a tendency to lose ourselves when relating to others, it is valuable to give our attention to deeply knowing ourselves.
Nicole S. Urdang, a cognitive therapist, wrote about a wonderful metaphor which I will play with in my own way for you to more deeply know the truth about yourself.
As humans, we can place our attention on what we’re not doing that we ’should’ be doing, our weaknesses, our limitations, what needs to change or be ‘fixed’, how we can do something better or how we can ‘be’ a better person. In other words, we focus on what’s wrong with us instead of who we truly are. The foundational belief is “I’m not good enough”, a belief that is common and encouraged by our culture in many ways.
Simply notice what floats to the surface as you read the following metaphor: Imagine a beautiful container – intricate, lovingly-made, prized. Allow your imagination to create your own container whether it be a bowl or basket or whatever else that floats to the surface. Within this container are fruit at various stages of being ripe – perfectly-formed and ready-to-eat pears, a brownish banana, grapes that are starting to shrivel, a lovely orange, a moldy apricot. You get the picture, and it’s important to notice what you primarily see. Where do you naturally place your focus? If you were this image, what are you – the container or the fruit?
We can miss who we truly are. We think we’re the fruit/behaviours instead of the beautiful and intricate container. With the second identification, we get that we are much, much more than how we behave, our specific skill set, our roles, our strengths and our limitations.
When we see ourselves as the container, we know that we have choice of putting our behaviours out to compost (notice there’s no judgment here as compost is useful and part of life). We’re less attached to how we express ourselves and more deeply grounded in accepting ourselves. We see who we truly are.
Affirmations:
I begin each day reminding myself who I truly am -separate from the actions, feelings, body sensations and thoughts that come and go in my life. Who am I…really? It’s a question that I explore so that I can be grounded in self-acceptance, a significant component of inner confidence.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Self-Acceptance, Wholeness, fulfillment, inner confidence, inner peace, self-confidence, self-esteem | Tagged inner confidence, self-esteem, spirituality | Leave a Comment »
Being in nature – truly being present in nature – nourishes the soul. When we are open to receiving the beauty of nature that encompasses everything, both dark and light, we feel at One. It is then we know who we truly are; it is then we know the deepest part of ourselves.
The paradox is that our experience of Oneness supports us in claiming our lives as our own. It is in our connection to our core that we are less inclined to please, adapt, suppress our feelings, or be on automatic pilot ‘trying’ to get our needs met. We are less inclined to be confused about the stand we will take. We are less inclined to try to control our circumstances or feel dissatisfied with our imperfect selves. We are less inclined to compare ourselves to others and feel that we are not enough.
When we experience our core that is here for us in each present moment, we are aware of our body and its messages to us. We are clear on the next step, trusting that the next one after that will emerge when we get there. We listen to our hearts. We allow the expression of our true selves to unfold, even when we are going in the opposite direction of everyone around us. We simply know. We simply be – ourselves. That’s claiming our lives as our own.
Affirmations:
I spend time in nature. I find the ways that nourish my connection to my true self.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Self-Acceptance, authenticity, fulfillment, inner confidence, inner peace, self-confidence, spirituality | Tagged inner confidence, self, spirit | 2 Comments »
There’s power in taking a stand. For example, a client of mind has taken a stand for acceptance. When she notices people judging themselves harshly, she challenges them. She also challenges herself.
The impact of this choice to take a stand in this way is that she is tolerant of others and herself at a whole new level. She’s feeling happy. She has energy to get things done. She has stopped “sweating the small stuff”. Instead of feeling irritated with someone’s behavour, she simply listens…forgives…accepts…and challenges them to do the same with themselves. Gentleness, tenderness, acceptance – all are the order of the day. She feels FREE.
What would you like to take a stand for? What is important to you? You might look to take a stand in an area that you notice gets in people’s way. Chances are that the behaviour is present in you as well.
Affirmations: I reflect on what’s important to me – that ’something’ that I believe would increase the presence of love. I am grateful as this stand that I take impacts my world and the world of those around me.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relatonships, Wholeness, fulfillment, inner confidence, interdependence, love, motivational | Tagged acceptance, inspiration, relationships, Success, transformation | Leave a Comment »
We are all required to make decisions in our lives – a lot. There are decisions to make that are a part of daily living – like what food to eat, entertainment to choose, book to buy, restaurant to dine at, issue to raise with someone close – the list goes on and on. There are BIG decisions around our careers, our intimate relationships/marriage, and our health. As leaders in the context of our families or businesses, there are a myriad of important decisions to make that potentially impact many.
How do you make decisions? What do you notice about your own process to decide?
For many, logic, emotions or a mixture of both drive what decision we make. There is some variability in this, depending on the nature of the decision. Our emotions likely don’t decide if, for instance, we’re going to invest in a certain stock – or not.
I’ve talked previously about using the body as a compass – the body that lives in the present and NOT in the past or future so is unencumbered by the boxes into which our minds can lock us. The increase or decrease of energy gives us additional information which might be very helpful to us.
There are times when a decision is required, and we’re really not sure what to do. We have the data from our logical minds, our wisdom/experience, our emotions, our bodies. Yet, there is more that is needed as a sense of doubt is present.
It is these times when spending time alone and in silence helps us to get in touch with our deeper knowing – that which is beyond our mind, emotions, and body sensations.
Affirmations:
I take the time to be in silence. I listen. I wait…and wait…and wait until I know beyond a doubt. This is in integrity. This is what I will do.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Stress, Success, Wholeness, inner confidence, mindfulness, power, spirit | Tagged confidence, decision-making, leadership, power | Leave a Comment »
A client asked out loud a question that many have thought on the inside. Is it just me? Why am I so sensitive? Why do I have so much mind chatter? Why are my feelings so on the surface? Is everyone like that?
My thoughts – yes, they are – within a range. Everyone has a mind filled with concepts that are limiting and that trigger feelings. And there are people who choose to keep their inner cave dark and closed or at least parts of it – NOT wanting to poke around and find out what’s really there.
There can be a consequence to this. Feelings or thoughts that are pushed down and kept in the dark can seep through the cracks (staying with the imagery of a cave) in a myriad of twisted ways like addictions, passive aggressiveness, and self-destructive or destructive behaviours. We only have to look at priests who are pedophiles, politicians who do the very thing they fight against, and the list goes on as we watch the news. What we see is ‘ shadow’ – that which is disowned, denied and projected – out there – with the goal of keeping the cave door tightly shut.
It takes courage to open that cave door and shine a light on what is truly happening deep inside. Feeling what’s there to feel as resistance only makes it stronger. Exploring. Releasing. One concept at at time to be tenderly explored and neutralized. It’s a lifetime process.
It doesn’t mean that we reach the place where we have no thoughts, no feelings, no unwanted body tension or pain. We’re human. It just means we are able to observe, love, and accept our humanness at deeper and deeper levels. We learn compassion. We experience Presence. We live with sobriety around what’s real instead of what is simply a story. We show up as our true selves instead of an image of what our minds tell us we ’should’ be like. We fully engage with our lives.
For me, it’s all worth it. For this client and many, many more, it’s worth it. Why? I ask – why wouldn’t it be?
Affirmations:
I embrace Life – the darkness and the light. It is all One. I walk with the Divine.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
I will not be coaching or writing until June 16th as I will be away at a retreat with Arjuna Ardagh, the author of “The Translucent Revolution” (plus many other books), to explore awakening – both the living and coaching of this state of being.
I am open and very much looking forward to the changes that will come from this focussed and powerful training. Typically, we think of change as related to outer circumstances. This time with Arjuna, immersed in the work of awakening, is about change on the inside to be radiated outward in ways that will unfold with time.
In this complex world, we are required to make many outer changes. The ability to flow with change, to embrace change, is very valuable. A way to support us in accepting change is to touch a deep part of ourselves that is infinitely constant – and then find ways to open that portal into our core often so it becomes a practice and the foundation for our Life. The stillness beneath the turbulent waters of change is there for us as a place of love and refuge.
Affirmations:
I invest in getting and staying connected to my core. Through this practice, I am able to navigate my way through change with grace. I trust Life.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, change, fulfillment, personal growth and self-development | Tagged change, inner confidence, personal development, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
In today’s world, we are all challenged to consistently open ourselves to learning something new. Life requires this from all of us. New technology, changing weather, a shifting economy, new careers or the upgrading of current ones, staying healthy, adjusting to the natural transitions of aging – the list of what is there for us to learn and adapt to goes on and on.
As I return from intensive training in California as a coach, I notice that I am in the midst of a high degree of change/learning – albeit learning that I initiated as I saw a need. I love this stage and realize that what makes it particularly appealing to me is that I see the potential for growth that comes from what I am learning – the real difference it could make in people’s lives, including my own. The stress (even if it’s good stress, it’s still stress) is worth it to me.
There’s another piece here. Learning something new is only one step in the bigger picture. The real challenge is integrating the learning of what is new into life. For instance, I am now integrating this new style of coaching into my work with clients as well as how I lead my own life. If new learning isn’t applied to life in some concrete way (even if what you learned is a way to simply add fun to your life), learning for its own sake can become just a way to pass the time.
The other element to learning that makes it wonderful is that the very process of learning something new has the potential to be challenging and stimulating. For instance, I notice that I need to be very alert and present in order to powerfully apply what I learned while away to each coaching session. In this place, I feel very alive.
What helps us to embrace learning? Seeing its value. Really getting that we are essentially at choice – always. Practically integrating what we are learning into our daily lives so a difference is made to the quality of our life and, therefore, and the lives of those around us. Noticing and appreciating the aliveness that comes from opening ourselves up to learning and applying something new.
Affirmations:
I see myself as the chooser, as the creator. I allow myself to feel any resistance to learning. I notice any points of view that stop me from learning. In the feeling what is there to feel, in the noticing of the thoughts of the mind, in the awareness of the sensations in the body, I am present and open to learn.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in balance, change, fulfillment, inner confidence, leadership, power | Tagged change, fulfillment, life, transitions | Leave a Comment »
In Arjuna Ardagh’s latest blog at www.arjunaardagh.wordpress.com, he talks about an event – Awakening Coaching that took place at the beginning of June in California – and its impact on all of the participants who came from around the globe to learn how to apply this work into their current coaching practices. As many of you know who read this blog regularly, I was one of these participants.
In this blog, Arjuna has this to say about awakening:
People want “benefits.” It is understandable. We want to see an upgrade on the airline seat, and the stereo and the car and the house Once we’ve got some of all that, then we want an upgrade on our friends, our relationship, our sex life. And finally we want to upgrade our thoughts, our feelings, our personalities. “I want to be a better me!” We are so busy rushing headlong to a better tomorrow, that we overlook the perfection of today. That is the multi billion dollar world of self improvement, which thrives on the fact that we feel not enough, that we feel cut off from ourselves and each other and from life itself. “Like a fish in the water, crying out ‘I’m thirsty, like the son of a rich man, begging door to door…”
Even a small drop of awakening pops the bubble on trying to fix and improve everything. It opens the door to everyday blessings, and transforms our relationship to life from one of consumption to one of contribution. We discover that just below the veneer of our needs and ambitions there is a magnificent gift wanting to be given, out loud, standing on the table, with the volume cranked.
When you abandon the struggle for more and better and different, and relax into your already vast and limitless presence in this moment, things evolve and get better and better all on their own. Relax into yourself, where you need nothing from anyone, and relationships get better. Relax into the stillness and vastness of your own true nature, and things come to you on their own. “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven,” said the Master Jesus, “and all else will be added unto you.”
There are many exercises to deepen the experience of ‘awakening’ and living it as a daily practice which I am excited about passing on as I have a deep, inner certainty about its power. This work supports people in moving beyond the unnecessary suffering of the mind, and I am already noticing the power of its impact on my clients.
Affirmations:
I am open to my own true nature and its natural expression. I am ready to move beyond the over-processing mind. My deepest longing is to experience Stillness/Love.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, authenticity, coaching, fulfillment, inner confidence, inner peace, leadership, life | Tagged contribution, life, Meaning, Relationship with Self, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
What is inner certainty? It is the place of knowing what action is to be taken without question – in other words, without any doubt. Inner certainty is beyond the mind and often shows up in the body as a relaxed state. When we experience inner certainty, we say that the choice we’re about to make “just feels right”.
We all have many decisions to make, some more important than others. Often, we can feel undecided or confused. We put pressure on ourselves to get it right. We’re afraid to make a mistake. Regarding a specific decision that’s up for us, the mind can be filled with various, opposing points of view which can leave us feeling ’stuck’ and has us stop in our tracks. Even if we do take action, we’re impulsively acting to avoid the anxiety.
A client of mine has articulated what she has learned about inner certainty. When there is a decision to be made, and she notices there is a sense of urgency or anxiety attached to an action, she does nothing and simply waits. Only when she arrives at a choice that comes from a place of calmness and “feels right” at a gut level does she move forward into action. This is using the body as a compass to experience inner certainty.
How do you reach this place of inner certainty? Allowing each point of view to be heard and challenged is key to moving beyond the mind. By emptying the mind, we find Stillness – and spaciousness.
What would be different in your life if you experienced inner certainty, particularly around key decisions in your life and in your business?
Affirmations:
I move beyond my conditioning and old habits. I wait. I listen to the Stillness. I trust what I find and move forward with inner certainty.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relationship with Self, Wholeness, inner confidence, inner peace | Tagged Clarity, heart, life, Making Decisions, Relationship with Self | Leave a Comment »
‘Trying to control’ our own lives and the lives of those around us, especially those who are close to us, can be a common human trait. We want people to respond to us the way we want. We have expectations about how someone should be, particularly with us. We can get into thinking we’re right or that there is only one way – our way. We think that something must be wrong with us if our lives aren’t going exactly the way we think they should – and then strive or grasp or try to fix what we ‘think’ needs to happen so that we get on track.
Do any of these points of view sound familiar?
With age, there can be a shift in trying to control everything. We begin to open to the idea that unnecessary suffering occurs in the mind because we try to control our experiences. When we realize that thoughts and feelings simply appear without effort or a conscious decision, we can relax and let go of control.
We also realize that we really can’t control external circumstances. Life has its way. The Law of Attraction has merit, and there are holes in this theory. The reality is that suffering is part of life. Death, sickness, divorce, economic meltdowns, war, climate changes, unemployment , challenging personality traits of those who surround us (at least we think so ) – these are just some of the many circumstances that come with living on this planet.
A client shared, “I realized that when I let go of control, I actually felt more in control”. Why? She has less emotional charge to what is happening both internally and externally and, therefore, is able to stay present and grounded.
Affirmations:
I let go of control NOW. I relax into knowing that I can’t control my thoughts, my feelings, and my body sensations. I can’t control all that happens in life. I simply notice. I allow myself to feel what’s there to feel. In the allowing, in the letting go of control, I dip into Presence.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Wholeness, emotional intelligence, inner confidence, interdependence, life, love | Tagged Equanimity, freedom, inner peace, life, relationships, Well-being, Wholeness | 1 Comment »
Resistance is a big word that has lots of undercurrents. Resistance impacts the pleasure we get out of life, the peace of mind we experience, the flow and ease of how we move through life’s demands and challenges. It can stop us from receiving love, reaching success (at least our definition of it), and creating great relationships.
Resistance shows up in everyone’s life. It’s a human trait. We deal it with others and within our own selves. If we pay attention, we can become aware of what it feels like in our own body as it shows up there. We may say yes on the outside while our body is clearly telling us it’s a no.
Resistance blocks the energy of Life. No, we don’t want to feel that particular feeling. We tell ourselves that particular feeling is negative or use logic to try to talk ourselves out of the reality of what we’re feeling. We resist (or at least try to as whatever we resist persists) thinking those thoughts. We resist owning a particular quality within ourselves which we judge as not okay. We project onto others behaviours or feelings or qualities because we resist claiming them as our own. We resist being vulnerable or open because we just might feel pain.
How do we be with resistance?
Firstly, the key is to notice resistance. Become aware. Be honest. Secondly, allow yourself to completely feel the resistance – like all feelings, it is important to embrace what’s there. It might help to say out loud, “I’m resistant” over and over in order to dive into what’s present. Breathing. Relaxing into. Blessing.
Affirmations:
I take the time to get to know how resistance shows up in my own life. I open to feel the resistance that’s there – with honesty, love and acceptance. In this act alone, I experience inner confidence.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Well-being, Wholeness, authenticity, emotional intelligence, fulfillment, health, inner confidence, inner peace | Tagged life, relationships, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
Through my years as a coach, I’ve heard this phrase voiced many times – “I want to be me!” This want usually includes – “I want to say no without guilt” and “It’s okay to do what’s right for me”. On the other side of the coin, there’s a pull to 100% agree with others, avoid confrontation, or do something that isn’t in line with one’s heart.
What is the path to being yourself? How do you follow your heart instead of what you think you should do?
Firstly, it’s important to stop and get in touch with the heart. Are you happy? If not, what is happening that isn’t feeling good to you? Allowing yourself to feel what’s there without the story is a way to open the heart to the present moment.
And then in the quiet, ask yourself: what is my heart yearning for? What is it that I truly want? Listening to what is shared – even if you don’t want to hear what is said to you – is the next courageous step. Taking action is the third whether that be a gentle no to someone who might be disappointed or honestly sharing what’s happening for you to someone you love.
A wonderful voice of the heart is the body which can serve as a compass. When you have choices to make – a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ – which one energizes you?
Navigating through the window of the heart can be a challenging path in which it really helps to have a witness – a witness to be with you in Presence as you make your way.
Affirmations:
It’s important for me to listen to my own heart. I am worthy of this respect and love. I stay present to the yes’s and no’s that want to be expressed by my true nature.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
When you’re in the process of transition, particularly a major transition, there arises an opportunity to claim your own life at another level. It’s during these times of change that we get to honestly look at all the areas that aren’t working for us. It’s during these times that we get to set new boundaries, put forth with clarity what we want, and accept even more accountability for our life. This requires courage. To have loving, affirming, empowering support during the scary times when we are stepping into the unknown is invaluable.
I’ve noticed in my own life that during challenging times, I had just the right people show up and either reach out to me or I reached out to them because I recognized that I needed what they could give. That’s the magic of Life/Presence/the Big Love. It simply works that way, especially when we are alert and awake to see and receive what’s there for us.
What level of support do you have?
It can be very difficult to see the big picture of our own life as we live inside the box. Our point of view is narrow. Gathering honest and loving people around us can take us through any challenge. And the benefits are many. Support teaches us humility as we receive from others what we aren’t in a place to give to ourselves. We learn compassion. And, at best, we pay the gifts that we’ve received forward to others.
Then in the circle of life, all is as it should be. The dips, the highs, the light, the darkness, the fears, the learning involved in being human – ALL is part of the Big Love.
Affirmations:
I gather around me the support that I need to take the next step into the unknown. With each step, I receive. I tap into my courage. I allow my heart to lead the way. I move…forward and forward and forward….with grace and love….one step at a time.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Relatonships, Stress, Wholeness, balance, change, inspiring, interdependence, transition | Tagged change, relationships, transition, Wholeness | 1 Comment »
An old friend of mine shared with me, “I marvel at what my friends teach me”. She wasn’t talking about learning how to garden or dipping into politics at a deeper level. She was addressing the emotional charges, the judgments, the highs and lows of relationships. Instead of making it about her friends, she takes fully accountability for herself.
How does she do that? How does she not blame them for what is happening inside of her?
She uses her judgments and charged feelings as clues to find out more about herself. She takes full responsibility for her learning. Because she doesn’t make herself wrong for having judgments, emotional charges, and highs and lows in her relationships, she is able to simply be with the learning at hand. She is actually in awe of what she learns as the observer within is alive and appreciative of the opportunities to deepen self-awareness. She is a true student of life.
Not all of us have learned to hold this empowering point of view which allows us to take our humanness lightly and, yet, responsibly. A dose of inspiration is a good thing
Affirmations:
I appreciate all that life teaches me – through circumstances, through relationships, and through connecting ever deeper with myself.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com
Posted in Wholeness, authenticity, communication, emotional intelligence, inner confidence, inner peace, interdependence | Tagged inner confidence, relationships, self-responsibility, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
One of the effects of experiencing inner confidence is faith, which is essentially a trust in life. There’s no dogma attached to this. There is not a set of beliefs that have to be followed.
In this place of trust, we are alert, we listen, and we respond to life. What is life asking of us in this moment? Our response in the moment might include action – or not.
A rhythm emerges when we allow life to unfold. There’s a flow. We let go of trying to control it all with our minds. We move moment to moment, step by step. The mind steps in to take care of any details – following, following, following.
This way of living is particularly available during difficult times. A friend of mine who has very, very recently lost her husband/best friend has shared with me that her ability to cope right now is 100% based on staying in the here and now. Step by step, she is making it through all of the details that need to be handled. Moment to moment, she is allowing herself to experience her grief when it arises. She is very much alive and in tune. Present to what is.
Affirmations:
What is my life asking of me in this moment? I ask myself this powerful question? I respond – in the moment, step by step. I have faith that all will unfold without any fixing, striving, pushing, pressuring, or seeking on my part. I rest in that which is experiencing this moment.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
________________________________________
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in Stress, Success, Well-being, Wholeness, balance, fulfillment, health, inner confidence, inner peace, inspiring, life, spirituality | Tagged faith, life, Surrender, Truth, Wholeness | Leave a Comment »
It’s at www.innerconfidencecoaching.com/blog
Look forward to seeing you there!
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
Actively trying and striving to ‘make’ something happen can stop true creativity in its tracks. Spending conscious time in stillness plants the seeds for creativity to emerge. Easily. Fluidly. When a client and myself enter the stillness of our true nature, insights and new ideas burst forth in a way that is very different from those times when the mind is ruling.
It is in the Stillness that is accompanied by deep listening where we get in touch with the truth of who we are. From this truth, we simply know what we need to do. Our hearts tell us. Our bodies share their wisdom with us. We are awake to life, our own lives, creatively moving through us.
I feel honored to be with a client in this sacred space where possibilities open up that are filled with energy and optimism and realness. I hold this place of stillness for myself and others and am committed to the ever-deepening process of finding the creative gifts that emerge from here. It is from this place that true inner confidence abounds.
Affirmations:
I invest in the time needed to reach the depths of who I am at my core. From this place, I play with the creative ideas that arise. I relish what I discover.
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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.
Posted in balance, fulfillment, inner confidence, serenity, spirit | Tagged awakening, Creativity, Essence, spirit, Stillness | 3 Comments »
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